Why is it that when you are trying not to get pregnant it seems rather easy, but then as soon as you decide you want to get pregnant it becomes more complicated than just doin' the deed with someone you love? Yo no sé, but here are some of the things that seem to happen when you are trying to get pregnant.
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You start off all chill
You tell yourself it's no big deal and that you aren't going to put any pressure on yourself. Yeah, right!
You can pee on a stick like nobody's business
You get so used to peeing on ovulation and pregnancy test sticks that it almost seems weird when you don't have a stick to pee on.
Then your friends start getting pregnant
Pregnancy announcements start coming at you left and right and you're happy for them, but it makes you nervous that you aren't pregnant yet.
You see pregnant women EVERYWHERE
Is there a pregnant women's convention in town or what?
You will have sex anywhere
If you are ovulating, you will have sex wherever and whenever because you CAN'T miss that window.
You become a temperature-taking queen
You can use your basal temperature to figure out where it is you are in your cycle so you can sex it up when you need to up your chances of getting knocked up.
Your partner is NOT allowed to touch himself
You make him solemnly swear not to get frisky with himself because you need his undiluted specimen to make a baby.
Headaches stop getting in the way
So what if you have a headache? That's no excuse to lose a baby-makin' opportunity.
You know EXACTLY when you had your last period
If anyone were to ask, you could almost tell them down to the minute the last time you had your period.
Getting your period sucks more than usual
You told yourself you wouldn't stress about it and that it takes time, but when you get your period while actively trying to get pregnant, it sucks so much more than usual.
