The television show Jane the Virgin ended, but a real-life version of the story has taken place in India. A woman named Revati Bordawekar made the impossible happen when she gave birth to a baby girl in 2019 before she ever had sex. After two "super uncomfortable" years of trying to have sex with her husband, the couple turned to IVF to help them with their dream of becoming parents.
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The woman has a condition called vaginismus, and at just 22 years old, she knew that it could be a potential problem for her in the future. The condition causes her vagina to clench, making sexual intercourse painful and sometimes impossible. Although her husband, Chinmay, was understanding and comforting, the woman grew impatient and sought help from professionals until she was able to make her dream of becoming a mom a reality–and she was able to do so through a natural birth.
Revati first became aware of her condition when she was 22.
Her first time trying a tampon at age 22 is what made her realize she was dealing with vaginismus, which is a condition that causes a muscle spasm in the pelvic floor muscles, which means they then clench. It is often painful, difficult, or impossible to have sex, to undergo a gynecological exam, or use tampons. “At that point I didn't feel comfortable enough to seek medical attention or even talk about what I was going through," she said. “Though I had doubts about me not being able to have intercourse, I just decided to leave it to the future and see how things went.”
The couple met in 2013, and waited until their wedding night to have sex.
The couple married when Revati was 25 and on their wedding night she had to open up to her husband about her condition. They decided to just get to know each other better, since they met online and he moved from the United States to India for her. The newlyweds eventually started wanting to have kids and that's when they had to deal with her condition. She even underwent a medical procedure where doctors cut her hymen and dilated her so she could have a better chance of getting pregnant. The couple turned to IVF in 2018 and they were successful on their second try. “When I finally got our first positive pregnancy test, it felt so unreal that I cried my heart out. The day that we were waiting for so long was finally here,” she said, adding that she'd planned to have a C-section at first.
The couple tried for a year before reaching out for help.
A year into their marriage, the woman began talking to friends and medical professionals and seeking advice about her condition. Their advice was for her to use numbing cream, to have more foreplay and to drink wine. "Vaginismus is real, it's not in your head and it won't go away if you relax, drink wine or lube up," she said. "I thought about my struggle with vaginismus since my teens, the years of being told to 'relax and it will happen.' I thought of how bad I felt each time I was deprived of something that came naturally to most."
The woman decided to go ahead and have a natural birth.
Despite her condition, Revati decided she wanted to have a natural birth and did everything in her power to do so. She hired midwives who walked her through the process and was able to have a probe inserted during the pregnancy, which gave her hope. “We attended a series of classes on childbirth preparation which slowly made me turn towards at least giving vaginal birth a try before quitting," she said, according to The Sun. “This was my only chance to experience the miracle of vaginal birth. And then I was ready to start pushing.” The woman welcomed her child after a 48-hour labor and now says that she hopes she and her husband can finally consummate their marriage.
