When you are a strong and confident Latina who still manages to second guess herself and worry about what others think, you want to make sure to only pass down the strong and confident part to your children and not the insecurities part. I think about this a lot and I remind myself all the time that it is possible to raise confident AND polite children who aren't afraid of el qué dirán.
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I want my girls to know: THAT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF THEM DOES NOT MATTER. It's important to remember, though, that there is not caring about what others think of you and then there is just plain being rude and unmannered. So here are five tips to raise confident AND polite children:
1. Teach them manners. Nowhere is it written that to be confident you have to be rude. Manners matter. They say that you know how to behave in social situations and that you can play nice with others.
2. Teach them to be kind. Confidence should not come from being mean to others. Confidence should come from knowing your worth and valuing the worth of others.
3. Teach them that el qué dirán is none of their business. If you stay true to who you are and your values, you will still manage to raise eyebrows. I'm sorry, but people are threatened by confident trailblazers and they will talk. Let them talk, you keep on taking charge and moving ahead.
4. Teach them to be kind to themselves. The harshest critic we have is ourselves. Teach your children to be kind to themselves and to think nice thoughts about themselves. Nobody needs a negative internal monologue going on in their heads. It's not good for you and is probably a bigger confidence-crusher than what anyone else thinks about you.
5. Teach them that failures happen on the road to success. Imagine if all the great inventors of the world stopped after their first failure. We'd still be in the Dark Ages. Just because you fail doesn't mean you aren't on the road to future success. There is no shame in trying and failing, there is shame in never trying because you are afraid of failing.
