Some things seem so unbelievably obvious that they should not have to be discussed, but there are people in this world who need the obvious pointed out to them. Like Kim Kardashian, who forgot to put on a shirt one time when she took North for a stroll. And then there's Misty Ann Lee, a 38-year-old mother from South Carolina who is accused of shoplifting a vibrator from the love section of a Spencer's gift shop and stashing it behind her child whom she was pushing in a stroller.
It appears that no one ever told this mother that you should not shoplift a vibrator while on stroller duty. Because of this, I feel that it is my duty to point out other things that you should never do when you are pushing a stroller with a child in it.
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This is by no means an all-inclusive list, please feel free to add to it, but here are five things you shouldn't do while pushing a child in a stroller:
1. You should not work the pole. I know it is very tempting especially if your name is "Misty" to want to use a stroller and child to work on the sympathies of customers to get more tips while stripping, but don't. Don't do it.
2. Do not hang out on the corner drinking brewskies with your homies. It's really off-putting to see a mom with a stroller and baby parked outside of liquor store drinking out of a paper bag. I'm sure it's not good for business either.
3. You should not hit the clubs. If you couldn't get a sitter, don't bring your baby in stroller with you so that you won't miss out on the nightlife. I know it seems like you have no other option, but actually you do: stay home.
4. Do not ride a roller coaster. Babies and strollers do not belong on roller coasters. 'Kay?
5. Do not ash into a stroller with child. Now, it's best if you don't smoke at all and you should not be smoking in front of a child, it's not good for them or you. So it would stand to reason that you should not smoke and use the stroller you are pushing with your child in it as an ashtray.
There you have it, some very obvious tips that apparently need to be pointed out.
Oh, and in case you are wondering what happened to Misty, the vibrator stealing mommy. Well, she was caught by an employee who would have let her go with a shake of the head and a return of the vibrator, but then Misty Ann Lee tried to go back into Spencer's so the employee called the cops. Lee was arrested and charged with shoplifting while pushing a stroller and child (I'm pretty sure that isn't the official charge, but you get what I'm sayin').
Images via Splash News, Spartanburg Police Department
