Oh, thank Yeezus! Kim Kardashian has managed to do what Ann-Marie Slaughter, Indra K. Nooyi, Sheryl Sandberg, and millions of women around the world have not–she's kracked the kode to having it all!
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Kim and the rest of the Kardashian Klan stopped by CNBC's Closing Bell on Monday to share their time-honored secret to having it all, and you won't believe what it is. Are you ready? The secret to having it all is … wait for it … stop being lazy and get your behind out of bed. I. Kid. You. Not.
"My mom kind of taught us girls we could have it all," explained a deadpan Kim. Oh but she continued:
She worked hard. She taught us if you work hard, it's just all about prioritizing and I think that, yeah, it could get tough and after you have a baby, there are so many times I didn't want to get up and work on something and I wanted to be home with my baby, but, you know, for me, I think I can speak for my sisters, it makes us feel good when we are out working and we can provide something for our friends and products that, you know, we can't find that we really want.
Well, there you go. Turns out all of us ladies who want it all but don't yet have it all haven't been working hard enough. We've all been wasting our lives away in bed, cuddling our babies, when we should be out there hawking clothing lines, perfumes, and sex tapes. For shame!
Personally, I'm not buying any of what Kim's selling–literally or figuratively. It's hard to heed advice on how to have it all from a reality star who has never truly been grounded in reality. I mean, of course SHE has it all; she was born with it all. Unless she's squandered all of her money on Red Octobers or investing in Crumbs, Kim stands to keep it all and then bequeath it all to her 1-year-old daughter, Nori. But, of course, Kim doesn't acknowledge any of this. Nor does she acknowledge how the army of nannies, housekeepers, personal assistants, personal shoppers, and wedgie wranglers have all made it possible for her to attain that elusive work-life balance so many of us women have only heard of.
But then again, why would she? It's Kim's job to sell us a dream–a dream where we're able to keep up with those krazy, kooky, Kardashians so long as we buy their wares and B.S. And they really need us all to buy it, share it, and lap it up, otherwise, how will they ever afford to have and keep "it all"?
Image via Kim Kardashian/Instagram
