It's spring!!! Woo hoo! Time to get them kiddies out of the house. Time to take them to the playground and enjoy the outdoors. But, wait! I just remembered I kind of hate the playground. Oh sure, it's great for my kids to run around and burn off energy without them destroying my home and I don't mind the sunshine. Vitamin D is good for my spirit, I tend to succumb to the winter blues, but let's be honest, the playground is not perfect. Why? Because there are other people at the playground and we all know people are anything but perfect. Don't worry I've got examples to back up my anti-playground argument.
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Here five things I hate about the playground:
1. People without kids. Where I live there is an ordinance against being in a public playground area without a child. Makes sense, you don't want a bunch of adults creepin' up the place. But some people insist on using the playground to work out and grunt loudly as they do pull-ups on the monkey bars. They don't even get out of the way for actual kids who want to use the monkey bars. Get out of here with that nonsense. Go to the gym and workout or do it in your own home.
2. People who don't watch their kids. If you are in need of a break from your kids, get a babysitter. Do not take your kids to the park and expect me to babysit them while you catch up on your e-mail or break your Candy Crush record.
3. The bathrooms. First of all, the bathrooms tend to be far away. Hello, I'm potty training here! Then there are no kid-friendly ones at least not where I live. I'm sure I don't have to mention that they are disgusting.
4. The lack of shade. Why aren't playgrounds designed with more shady areas. Yes, I like the sun, but no, I do not like to be in direct sunlight all the time. I kid you not sometimes I age five years in a single visit to the playground because of sun exposure. Yes, I use sunblock, but a little shade would be nice.
5. My kids. Okay, I don't hate my kids. I love my kids, but I hate that it is impossible to get them to leave the playground. It doesn't matter if it starts raining or the playground is overrun with a plague of rats (it's happened), they don't want to leave. So I am forced to throw a mommy tantrum and then everyone at the playground hates me.
Sure these playground annoyances don't just apply to spring, but it is at the beginning of spring that I am most aware of them because I have not had to deal with them all winter.
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