What parent doesn't want to spare their child from the pain of disappointment? Ahhh, they come into this world absolutely perfect, wonderful, and so full of promise. The last thing that any parent wants to see is their child crushed by not getting something they so wanted. And yet, they will go through it. They have to go through it. They need to go through it. They will be better, stronger, more resilient people for going through it. Sometimes it's hard to see the lessons that come from disappointment, but it is our job as parents to help our children deal with disappointment, help them through it, and show them how it actually benefits them in the long run.
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Here are three examples of how disappointment makes us all better people:
- Let's say your child tries out for a team or a play or anything and they don't get picked. Or maybe they do get picked, but they end up sitting on the bench or they get cast in a role they didn't want. It's okay. It's not the end of the world. There will be other teams and other plays. It takes courage to go for what you want and it takes grace to deal with disappointment.
- There is no shame in disappointment because there is no shame in trying. This is such an important lesson for all human beings to learn. Why not learn it at an early age? How many inventors or scientists get it perfectly right the first time around? You don't know how far you will go unless you let yourself try and sometimes fail.
- It takes a lot of failures to be the best of the best. Don't believe me, listen to what Michael Jordan has to say about it, "I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
Someone a long time ago shared a mantra with me that I have since embraced. The mantra originally came from an actress that shared how she dealt with disappointment, with rejection on a regular basis. This actress said that she saw herself as a delicious slice of chocolate cake. In fact she was probably the best slice of chocolate cake anyone could ever have, but sometimes people were in the mood for lemon meringue and that was totally okay with her because it did not stop her from being the best slice of chocolate cake that she could be.
When it comes to disappointment, let's teach our kids that they are a delicious slice or chocolate cake or lemon meringue if that is more their style.
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