Have you ever vacationed away from your child? Have you left for business for a few days? Does one carry more guilt than the other? I don't think so. As moms, we always feel guilty for leaving our children, no matter what the reason is behind it. I know I do but we shouldn't ever.
Honestly, we need time away from our children to appreciate them and to fully appreciate our role as mothers. We need time away to remember who we are separate from being a mother, to decompress and to miss our children. Hell, we need time away from being a mother to be good mothers.
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I learned this past weekend, that it is nice to be a grown up outside your role of parent for a few days. I attended BlogHer 13, a blogging conference with something like 5,000-plus women in attendance. It was difficult to pull out of the driveway on Wednesday morning. My youngest was crying and pleading with me not to go. I wanted to stay, but I had committed. I had committed to the event and I had committed to myself to go and better myself, my blog. I can only be a good example for my daughters if I am showing them that it's okay to want more, to have a dream in and of itself, outside of being a mother. So, I drove away even though my heart was screaming for me to turn back.
It was refreshing to be addressed as Deborah the professional and not just someone's mom. Even though the irony is that my online name that most people know me by is "Truthful Mommy." Being addressed and spoken to as a human being, as a professional, did wonders for my worn down self-esteem. It was nice to have a meal that was hot and conversation that was uninterrupted. It was wonderful to be able to show an interest in me for once, to do something that was completely selfish and just for myself.
By the end of the week, I was missing my kids like crazy and even though I returned with a horrid head cold and extremely exhausted, I was so glad to be home with my children. Even extremely sick, I want nothing more than to sit by my children and watch them be children. I am more patient, more tolerant and more fun this week than I have been in years and all it took for me to appreciate all I have is to step away from it for a few days. I am blessed and I know it.
There is no reason for guilt. Going away is what is best for my children, my husband and myself. If I stay home all the time and never do anything for myself, eventually that will build up to regret and resentment. Life is too short for either one. Mamis need time away from their children and that is my truth.
Image via Далеко Далеко/Flickr
