Let's just assume that everyone gets married with the intention of staying married, shall we? Hopefully, your dream of happily ever after or at least happy most of the time comes true, but let's be realistic about the odds of getting a divorce. It is estimated that 40 to 50 percent of marriages end in divorce and the rate is even higher if it isn't your first marriage. So how do you know if your marriage is headed for divorce? Check out these signs.
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You're being abused.
Abuse has no place in a healthy marriage and no one deserves to be abused. Domestic abuse can manifest itself in different ways and affects people of all backgrounds. If your partner uses their behavior, be it physical, verbal or otherwise to frighten you, threaten you, control you or prevent you from doing what you would like to do, please seek help. You can visit The National Domestic Hotline Online or call1-800-799-7233.
You aren’t growing together.
In other words you are growing apart and don't even care. You stopped caring about what your partner is into and/or they stopped caring about what you are into. A marriage between people who have different interests is not necessarily doomed, but if you can’t be interested in each other’s lives, you have to ask yourself why that is.
You are getting put down by your partner.
Being belittled and put down is not pleasant. It’s disrespectful and demeaning even more so if you have asked for it to stop and your spouse simply accuses you of being too sensitive. Not cool. Or perhaps you are doing the putting down and yes, indirectas still count as put downs. If that’s the case, ask yourself why you think your spouse deserves to be treated in a way that you wouldn’t like.
There's secrecy.
You don’t have to know everything about each other, but if one of you is being secretive and keeping things on the down low on purpose that raises a red flag for sure. We’re not talking about planning a surprise birthday party here. We’re talking about things like gambling, relationships, trips, bank accounts and those kinds of things that normally couples would tell each other about.
You avoid each other.
There was a time when you couldn’t wait to see each other and now you’d rather not so much so that you try to schedule life so that you see each other as little as possible.
You’re in debt.
Financial problems in a marriage can lead to arguments and divorce. One study found that the probability of divorce increases by 45% when spouses feel their partner spends money foolishly.
One of you is cheating.
Some marriages are able to survive when cheating is involved, but if trust cannot be rebuilt after infidelity, some couples find that divorce is the only option left.
Parenting challenges tear you apart.
Every couple with children will face parenting challenges, but if you find that those challenges tend to put you at odds with your spouse, that can be a big problem. One study found that parents dealing with a child who has ADHD are almost 23 percent more likely to divorce before the child’s eighth birthday.
You tried marriage counseling and it was useless.
Marriage counseling can be a great tool toward saving a marriage, but if you both gave it your best shot and didn’t get results then it’s not a good sign.
You don't see a future together.
You used to make plans for the future together and now you don’t. You actually spend a lot of time imagining the future without your spouse.
