Amigas*, I'm here to tell you that yesterday, I started the famed Master Cleanse. It's a hardcore cleanse favored by celebrities like Beyonce that basically promises to rid your body of toxins and hey, I might lose a pound or two along the way (wink, wink).
Here's where the crazy comes in: For 10 days I'll be subsisting on a concoction of freshly squeezed lemon juice, maple syrup and cayenne pepper combined with water. I have to drink a detoxifying tea every evening and 32 oz of salt water (honestly, that's the worst part) every morning. But not a single scrap of food, wine, or chocolate (I'm dying inside) is going to cross my lips for the next 9–woohoo, one day down!–days.
So why am I subjecting myself to this cruel and unusual punishment?
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Well, because basically for the first time in my life, I really packed on some pounds this holiday season! I mean, I can literally see every single piece of pernil and every sip of coquito I indulged in on my body where it wasn't before. It's gross and sooo not cute. I blame it on age. Everyone kept telling that my metabolism would slow down when I turned 30, but I remained in ignorant bliss until this year–because I saw it happen with my own eyes. At least I had that extra year before I had to take such drastic measures, right?
Being the dork that I am, I of course bought the original book that started this trend, written by Stanley Burroughs back in 1940s, and I think this guy might be on to something here. He did NOT develop the cleanse as a weight-loss method, but actually as a way to solve certain ailments and sicknesses that were not being effectively handled by the traditional Western style of medicine. While I don't necessarily prescribe to Burroughs' advocacy of a hardcore vegan, raw diet–I think we can all safely accept the fact that most of us don't get enough fruits and veggies in our diets and that whole grains and limited meat intake is the absolute healthiest possible way to eat.
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That being said, I'm doing this to train myself to eat healthier and break myself of my cravings for salt and sugar (and wine and chocolate and cheese–basically everything worth living for), but it's not like I'm expecting to never ever enjoy a glass of red wine again or never to touch meat, I mean, come on, that is just not realistic for me. And that is honestly what I think is the key to making healthier decisions for yourself. Figuring out what works best for you to live the healthiest you can without feeling sad and deprived all the time.
Some might think I'm crazy for doing this cleanse, shoot, sometimes I think I'm crazy for going on this cleanse. But I want to see if I have the willpower and fortitude to see this through, and I hope that when all is said and done, I'm able to return to normal eating habits with more appreciation for the food I eat and make much more conscious, healthy choices.
Would you ever go on the Master Cleanse? Do you think I'm crazy?
Image via ideowl/flickr
