To date, I've spent approximately 245,375 hours of my life plucking, shaving, and waxing hair off my body. Call me crazy, but that seems like a lot of time wasted on personal grooming. The only thing that keeps me from pulling the hair that I do love–the hair on my head–out by the roots, is my sense of humor and the knowledge that I'm far from the only girl who knows that, when it comes to these stubble related troubes, the struggle is so very real.
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Body hair is a shady mofo. Your body doesn't care that you've spent 30 whole minutes pulling hair out of your face (from the root, no less); it'll grow a whole new crop of pelo in its place by the end of the day, like clockwork.
Your waxer is your bestie. She knows your body from head to toe and has even seen you bent over in ways your man can only imagine.
Unibrows are the worst. Sorry, but Frida Khalo was the unicorn of unibrow bearers; not all of us mujeres can pull off the Siamese brow look as elegantly as she did.
The dreaded threading upsell. You go in to have your eyebrows done and the next thing you know your threader has convinced you that you're a hairy beast who needs to have her entire face threaded, STAT! That's not cool__.
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The Home Shopping Network is your frenemy. Admit it: you've bought every at-home laser hair removal device they've hocked over the last decade or so. Don't feel bad. I have them, too.
You secretly hate your hairless friends. Especially when they complain about having to shave their legs once a week. Oh, the horror.
Your nickname was Chia Pet. I kid you not, my friends and fam would call me "Ta-ta-tanisha," parodying the Chia pet catchphrase. It was totally not funny and it totally made me hate Chia Pets.
Spa days are terrifying. For hairy chicas, a trip to the spa means paying someone to pour hot wax on your nether regions and then having them yank your body hair out by the root. So not relaxing.
You can't stay out passed midnight. Unless you don't mind walking home in the harsh light of day with a rampant case of day old stubble cascading down your legs.
Actually, your hair is pretty awesome. Chances are the hair on your head is pretty long and luxurious. In fact, many women (and some men) pay a lot of money to have thick, glossy hair like yours, so be grateful for what you have and pluck what you don't want.
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