I'm so sick of seeing headlines about why what a particular mom is doing is right or wrong. Seriously, just sick of it. Particularly when it comes to weight and overall fitness. Judging a woman's appearance is one of the easiest ways to bring her down. It's sad, but so true. And as moms, we're even more susceptible to that since pregnancy changes our bodies so drastically to begin with. But what's the point of pitting ourselves against each other, comparing and scrutinizing? Why do we care what another mom looks like–thin or thick?
British mom and fitness competitor Abby Pell, also known as Superabs on Instagram, is the latest mom to stir up some mom-against-mom controversy.
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When she posted a photo of herself and her 6-year-old daughter with the caption, "I have a kid, a six-pack and no excuse." Of course the mobs accused her of fat-shaming. Perhaps it was her intent to guilt other moms into action, but Pell maintains that she meant to be inspirational and not to hurt anyone.
"It's not easy but it's a lot easier than looking in the mirror every day and not feeling happy with the reflection staring back at you," she said. To her credit, "mom-shaming" in any way is no better than fat-shaming and that's just what the folks who criticize Pell for her lifestyle choices are doing.
Honestly, I believe her. I actually think moms like Maria Kang who got into hot water for posting a picture of herself with her three toddler boys and the caption "What's your excuse?" are a lot more offensive. Kang was far more accusatory than Pell, and seeing as she is now capitalizing on the controversy with a calendar, book and DVD all hitting the market, it seems she has very little remorse for the hurt she caused.
But in truth, as long as she, and you, and every other mom we encounter is doing what she needs to do to love and care for her kids, we all need to just back up off each other. Because our disdain for these moms is much more about our own confidence levels than our dislike for anyone else.
You see, when I look at pictures of moms like Abby I feel sort of proud of them. Sort of like, "Wow, moms are awesome. Look what she did." And when I look at myself in the mirror, even though I look nothing like her, I feel pretty damn good about me too. I feel good even though I don't hit the gym every day, because I'm giving MY life and motherhood my all each and every day and the reflection staring back at me reveals just that.
So mamas, go find what makes you happy, go do what you're good at, go hug your babies, go high-five another mom. Then look at yourself in the mirror again and be happy — for yourself and for every other mom out there giving it her all. Let's stop dragging each other down and start building each other up, regardless of shape, size, race, political views or parenting styles.
Image via Superabs/Instagram
