12 Ways a second pregnancy is different from the first

With my first child, I was pretty sick–I threw up once a day most days for about 15 weeks and felt pretty bad for a few hours every morning. Well, what I thought was pretty sick turned out to be a mere glimmer of the hell I would suffer with my second. I was sick and barely functioning all day, for four solid months before I got a break. But that wasn't the end of it, at 19 weeks, I'm still hurling a few times a week. Apparently it tends to get worse with each pregnancy…blech.

I was definitely tired in the first trimester with my first. I needed a nap after work every day for a few weeks. This time, a nap isn't always an option, as I spend most of my days chasing around a 3-year-old. I'll shamefully admit that my little guy watched quite a few movies while I slept on the couch early on. For weeks I would fall asleep on the couch as soon as I put him to bed, and these days if I don't manage a nap midday, it still happens. Not only that, but every time I exert myself for more than a few minutes I need a rest.

Okay, so I absolutely know that my lentil-sized fetus wasn't showing at five weeks, but that's about when my pants stopped fitting or at least stopped being comfortable. Most of it was bloat I'm sure, but everything just seemed to start spreading out a lot sooner the second time around, especially my lower belly and hips. Yoga pants to the rescue!

I found out I was pregnant before I was even four weeks. A couple of days later, I had to start wearing a bigger bra size. In fact, I distinctly felt my rib cage expanding by the time I was eight weeks–a sensation I didn't notice with my first until well into the second trimester. Not exaggerating, I've bought new bras three times in five months!

Pregnancy brain is no joke. Especially when you're busy taking care of another child, dealing with sickness, working and holding down the fort at home. I can't tell you how many times I've reached for some deli meat or a beer and stopped myself. "Oh wait, there's actually a tiny human inside of me. I forgot about that."

The stretch marks I got during my first pregnancy were not horrible, but they were traumatizing nonetheless. They also didn't appear until I was about 36 weeks along. Well, shortly into this pregnancy, I noticed that those very same stretch marks that caused me to collapse into a puddle of tears three years ago, were growing! I don't actually have any new ones, but the existing ones have spread and nearly double in length! Seriously?! Why?

I know the risk of miscarriage is pretty significant in the first trimester, and obviously that doesn't change whether it's your first or fifth child. But I felt a lot more comfortable telling people earlier on this time around. I think it's because not telling turned me into a bit of a hermit last time, and now I know how important it is to have people to help and support you throughout your pregnancy.

It's kind of easy to ignore a few responsibilities when you're not feeling well during your first pregnancy–most of the slacking off you do is pretty inconsequential. But when you have another child or even more, that's just not the case. Your kids still need to eat, and have someone to play with and hold them, and of course be disciplined. And even if dad is super-involved, nobody does it like mom does, and your kiddos know that. Just think of it this way, lifting your 30-pound toddler multiple times a day, will mean you're in better shape for labor and delivery.

I used to spend three out of the four weeks between OB check ups compiling extensive lists of questions and concerns to talk to my doctor about. I even had a notebook dedicated to this purpose. Now? Psshh, I usually scramble to think of a few things to ask while we're on the way to the office and hastily type them into my phone only to not remember to look at them during the appointment.

I read every bit of pregnancy literature I could get my hands when I was pregnant with my first. It didn't matter that it scared the crap out of me. This time I've read exactly one pregnancy book, and it was one that focused on not worrying so much about pregnancy restrictions. There are actually a couple more I'd like to read, but the chances that I'll have time to are slim to none.

I also spent an embarassing amount of time on pregnancy message boards during my first pregnancy. Now? I gave them up after a couple of weeks–people are way too annoying, critical and just plain mean.

Most importantly, this time I worry a lot less. I know there are still things to be concerned about, but now I know that a lot of things that I stressed about with my first are just not worth it. Plus, I'm more familiar with all the weird sensations and body changes, so I know not everything warrants a call to the doctor. So while a lot of things make the second pregnancy harder, experience and confidence allow me to be a whole lot happier.