In 2006, English singer-songwriter and actor Lily Allen hit it big in the world of pop music with the release of her single “Smile.” She seemed poised for pop superstardom and for a few years she was most definitely in the limelight—and then not so much. So, what happened? Well, on an episode she recorded for Radio Times Podcast, she said that she had kids and they kind of ruined her career. She shares two daughters, Ethel and Marnie, whit her ex-hubby Sam Cooper. They were married from 2011 to 2018. Lily went on to marry Stranger Things actor David Harbour in 2020.
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Now before anyone busts out with pitchforks to go after her, hear her out, please. In context, what she said about how becoming a parent affected her career makes total sense and she’s not wrong, except for this one part where I think she misspoke. Check out what she had to say!
Lily got honest on the 'Radio Times Podcast' regarding her career and how it changed after having kids.
“I never really had a strategy when it comes to career, but yes, my children ruined my career,” she said jokingly causing her friend, British television presenter and radio personality Miquita Oliver, who was also a guest on the podcast, to burst out laughing hysterically.
“I mean I love them and they complete me, but in terms of, you know, pop stardom, totally ruined it,” Lily continued as Miquita continued her laugh-a-thon.
Why was Miquita laughing so hard?
“That’s so true. I’m so happy to hear someone say that ‘cause everyone was like, ‘No, of course not,’” Miquita interjected. Referring to how people like to say that having kids won't get in the way of your career aspirations.
“It really annoys me when people say you can have it all because, quite frankly, you can’t. And some people choose their career over their children and that’s their prerogative,” Lily went on to say.
“But you know, my parents were quite absent when I was a kid and I feel like that really left some like nasty scars that I’m not willing to, you know, to repeat on mine,” she elaborated.
Is she upset that she chose to focus on her children more than her career?
Not at all. “I chose stepping back and concentrating on them and I’m glad that I’ve done that because I think they’re pretty well-rounded people,” she concluded.
I have no problem with what Lily said, except for one part.
When she says that “some people choose their children and that’s their prerogative,” I want to point out that it’s not a prerogative, it’s a privilege. Some parents can’t exercise the privilege of stepping back from their career/job because then they wouldn’t be able to provide for their children.
I agree with one person’s comment on YouTube 100%.
“Good on Lily!” one person who doesn’t have the privilege of choosing wrote. “I wish I had enough money to be able to afford to choose my children over my career. I care more about me children than my career, infinitely so, but if I stepped away from my job to focus on my babies fully then the entire family starves.”
And that comment wasn’t meant to bash Lily.
“Edit: To be clear, this is NOT a criticism of Lily. It's a criticism of the fact we live in a system where it's put your work first, at the expense of raising your own family, or die,” the person clarified.
I think so many of us can relate to the burden of having to prioritize work because it wouldn’t be possible to fully provide for our children any other way.
Still, Lily is not wrong about the rest.
We can’t have it all, at least not at the same time. We end up making choices based on our circumstances, financial and otherwise. If you’re interested in hearing the entire podcast, go for it!
