There are parents who have been homeschooling like the pros, by choice, for some time now. Then there are those of us who have had to start homeschooling because suddenly we have no other option. We're so new to the experience, we don't even know if it should be written "homeschool" or "home-school" or "home school." We're clueless and ridiculous, but don't laugh at us, pity us! Or better yet, pity us and laugh with us via these hilarious homeschool memes that say what all us newbie homeschoolers are going through.
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If you ever needed proof that teaching young children is a noble profession that requires patience, preparation, and skill, try to do it yourself without having any prep time. It's no joke! Even if you aren't the one doing most of the teaching because your kids are still getting lessons from actual teachers via Zoom or Google Hangouts, it's still crazy hard because you have to help your kids learn about things you don't even remember ever having known.
Like what's up with math nowadays? What do you mean that there are different ways to represent that 20 + 5 equals 25. Ain't nobody got time to diagram that when you already know the answer. How are we supposed to help our kid get the answers to questions in 10 easy steps when we learned to do it in one step and can't imagine any other way to do it? Sigh. Fortunately, we are all learning to laugh at our teaching incompetence and we have the homeschooling memes to prove it.
Seriously, whose kids are these?!
They are so rude and rowdy! Oh, wait, they're your kids. If they are malcriados, I guess it's your own dang fault. Still, you wish you could get them transferred out of your class.
When did second grade math get so hard?
Second graders don't seem all that smart. Most of them can't even tie their shoelaces effectively, but apparently, they are all math wizards because this ish is confusing the heck out of a lot of adults.
When you want to call "not it," but can't.
Remember when you would hope your child wouldn't get a certain teacher because you'd heard bad things about that teacher? Now, it's more like you really, really hope that they don't get you again because you know you are a bad teacher.
When you're trying to make a call while homeschooling.
You get them all set up with work they can do while you're on your very, very important call. They sit there for a few seconds looking like sweet little lambs. You tell them, "Mommy has to make an important call, please do your work quietly." You dial, you start talking, and your kids turn into beasts. Every. Single. Time.
When your kid is the class clown.
You want to laugh because it’s funny, but you also want to scream because “WHY?! Why make it so hard? Just get the work done so we can both be done.”
It's hard to keep track of who you are at any given moment.
Are you in your teacher role right now? Or are you in your parent role? Or what if you as a teacher needs to consult with you as a parent? Who can even keep track? It's so confusing.
The difference between not being prepared and being prepared.
Can you really blame those of us who never had homeschooling on our radar for freaking out? We just can't compete with those who have been doing it all along. We can't and we know it.
Don't forget that there's a lot to be learned from chores.
Hey, if universities can and do offer classes on "adulting," then parents who are homeschooling can do the same. There are a whole lot of young adults going into the "real" world not knowing how to do basic housework. That's not right.
When your kid shows up to homeschool dressed up for picture day.
Just go with it like this dad did. Take some overpriced pictures that you'll end up paying for anyway. Go with the cheapest package, which is still not cheap at all.
Beware of the lunch lady!
Homeschool lunch ladies can get really salty with their language. What ya gonna do? Usually, the lunch lady just finished being the teacher and will have to go back to being the teacher in a second. Homeschools are woefully understaffed.
Don't forget about teacher appreciation!
One of the perks of homeschooling is that you can show yourself some teacher appreciation. Go ahead and get yourself something nice as a thank you. You deserve it!
Some of us just aren't as patient as others.
Sure, some parents are just naturals when it comes to homeschooling. They are great teachers with patience and a sweet disposition. Well, guess what motherf—er, we're not all like that!
Asking for a friend.
Teaching kids to mix cocktails should totally count as chemistry, don't you think? It's called mixology after all. If you put "ology" after anything then it is a subject worth studying. Like clean-up-after-yourself-ology, be-quiet-ology, and so forth.
Homeschooling takes less time they said.
They lied! It's supposed to only take four hours maximum a day, but not the way most kids do it. No, they can make it last longer than you could have ever possibly imagined.
You know what the real problem with math is?
The real problem with math is that it's ALL problems that need to be solved. And it doesn't matter how many problems you solve, there's always more. Who wants to live in such a problematic universe?
Don't be afraid to lower your standards.
Who says you have to be the best teacher in the world? That's too much pressure. Aim for substitute who puts on a movie level and if you surpass that level, you're winning!
Don't believe the hype!
Those not-so-humble updates about how many things that one mom was able to accomplish on the same day you got nothing done are lies! Don't fall for the lies. No one can do all of that in one day and have time to post about it.
Remember the good ol' days?
Remember when the hardest part school-related part of the day was getting your kids to school on time? Those were good times. Such good times.
Why won't your mother's grandkids leave you alone?
Oh, because they're your kids. Dang it! No wonder you can't get a break. Sucks for you.
Vintners are essential workers, right?
Forget about your toilet paper supply, how is your wine supply? Not that homeschooling is going to drive you to drinking, but it's nice to be prepared. Don't want to be caught empty-handed in an emergency.
