Most people find it extremely disrespectful when someone gives unsolicited advice. And it is even worse when it is advice that should only come from a professional or a specialist. That was the case for Jax, a woman who was six months pregnant and received an unwanted comment in a cafe and decided to publish her bad experience on Twitter. What happened was that another customer told her she shouldn't drink coffee while she is pregnant. It's unbelievable how people try to meddle in someone else's business. Whether or not the person had good intentions, the comment seemed ill-timed and based on myths and beliefs that are not based on anything valid.
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An unsolicited comment could confuse people, and during pregnancy the only person who can really be trusted to recommend anything to the woman is a doctor. Only the doctor knows what is going on with the pregnancy, as medical professionals are the ones who know what has been happening with the patient month by month.
To think that your pregnancy experience could be similar to another woman's could be a huge risk, as every person is different. So, before you give someone advice, no matter the intention, consider the following things you should never say to a pregnant woman.
Recommend good luck charms or objects to keep her baby safe.
Just speaking about something possibly putting her baby in danger is something that could cause the mom-to-be some anxiety. There's no need to try to get her to believe in superstitions, especially if she hasn't asked for any advice on the topic.
Don't touch anyone's pregnant belly without permission.
You might mean no harm by wanting to touch your pregnant friend or family member's growing belly, but it's important that you resist the urge. Pregnancy is such a vulnerable stage in a person's life and crossing boundaries might be uncomfortable for her and for you. Unless she gives the OK, it's best to avoid this.
Avoid making comments about her figure or her weight during her pregnancy.
Something known as "pregorexia" does exist, and it is an eating disorder a woman might deal with while pregnant because she's worried she might gain too much weight. She might eat less or work out excessively, and it could be potentially more harmful to someone who has dealt with eating disorders in the past.
Don't judge what type of birth plan the woman chooses.
"The pediatricians say that a natural birth is best" and "the anesthesia is dangerous and you shouldn't risk it," are opinions that should be kept to yourself. Unless you're asked for your take based on your own birth experiences, avoid speaking on things that might confuse her.
Try not to suggest home remedies to deal with morning sickness.
The problem is that home remedies could have harmful and dangerous effects. Just because it's natural it doesn't mean it's safe, especially for someone who is expecting a child. So this is a subject to avoid completely.
Don't scare her about her upcoming sleepless nights.
Yes, all of us who are moms know that sleepless nights with a newborn are terrible. Regardless of that, there is no reason to scare a first-time mom who is about to live one of the most beautiful experiences in life. Let's choose to speak on topics that will bring her excitement about her new journey in life as a mom.
Don't make recommendations about exercise, because every body is different.
It might seem like an innocent comment to make to recommend a pregnant woman to do yoga or any other exercises during her pregnancy, but everything has to be cleared by her doctor. If her pregnancy is high-risk, this could be dangerous for her.
Try not to tell her what she should or shouldn't consume throughout her pregnancy.
There are so many myths that exist about pregnancy and a lot of them tend to be false. The best thing is for her to follow a diet based on what her nutritionist has recommended based on her health conditions. Everyone's body reacts differently to pregnancy, and it is time we start letting everyone do what works for them.
