There is a quote by the writer J.D. Salinger that says, "All mothers are slightly insane." Well, ain't that the truth?! Although motherhood is not actually classified as a mental illness, there is no denying that parenting makes you loca. Don't belive me? Check out the signs.
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1. You haven't breastfed in almost two years, but you're still wearing nursing bras. You know you should stop, but at least this way when your partner gets frisky you can just unsnap the front for easy access because taking off the whole bra gives you hueva.
2. You have no intention of doing yoga, but you have an everyday pair of yoga pants and a "dressy" pair for nicer occasions because after having kids spandex and comfort are EVERYTHING.
3. You introduce yourself to people as "Sofia's mom" even when you're at a grown up event where no one knows you have kids.
4. A stranger sneezes and you say, "Tápate la boca" before you realize they aren't your kid.
5. You stopped watching all your favorite shows and novelas, but you can't wait for new episodes of Pocoyo and My Little Pony because you are tired of watching the same episodes over and over.
6. You do NOT want your children do develop a taste for tamarindo candy or Tajín because then you'll have to share and you already share everything else.
7. When your kid is misbehaving in public and you get desperate, you look around for the scariest looking stranger and then say to your kid, "Do you want me to go and tell that man that you are misbehaving?" I mean I'm sure that man wouldn't care, but if your kid is little the threat totally works and you feel such relief.
8. It's raining and the kids are stuck indoors and you've got nothing for them to do so you pull out a pack of maxi pads and tell them to make beds and furniture out of them for their dolls and action figures.
9. You're cooking and realize you're out of a crucial ingredient and you rush to the store to get it, buy a bunch of stuff, come back home and realize you forgot to buy the one thing you went to the store for. Screw it, time to order pizza.
10. Your cell phone is constantly messing with you. You put it down in the same place every day, but when you're not looking it gets up and hides. WTF?!
11. Your keys are in cahoots with your cell phone and you are pretty sure they get together for drinks and laugh at how much time you waste looking for them.
12. Sometimes when your kids make you very mad you think or say under your breath, "Hijo de tu chin&@%@ madre," and then you're like, wait a second am I insulting myself? And yes, yes you are.
13. You put the milk away under the sink and bleach in the fridge. Thank goodness you figure it out before pouring bleach into your coffee
14. You forget basic things like your age, where you parked your car, appointments or important dates, but you can remember the exact times of your children's last poops.
15. When Dora asks what part of the episode was your favorite you actually answer and feel a sense of camaraderie when she tells you she liked that part too.
Image via Corbis
