10 Stay-at-home mom confessions you won’t believe

The idea of eating leftovers off of another person's discarded plate is, generally speaking, a pretty unsavory one. But some days–particularly those when there's a sick or tantrumatic child to care for–anything more than that can require way more energy than can be mustered. Plus, if you let yourself think about all the food your toddler wastes, you'll feel pretty guilty about tossing it.

I'll tell you what's not even a little bit fun…walking a sick infant to the doctor two miles each way in torrential rains. But, that's exactly what I had to do when my son got his first ear infection. I didn't have a car that winter, every one I knew was at work during the doctor's office hours and I couldn't fathom the idea of letting my little guy suffer any longer. So we hoofed it, and it sucked.

Because nature calls–quite urgently–the second you settle in for what you're quite certain is going to be an epic feed and your nursling screams bloody murder when you attempt to unlatch him so you can take care of business. That's how you ended up rushing across the house to the bathroom with a baby hanging from your boob and subsequently nursing that baby while you use the toilet.

I never thought I'd ever admit this one, but I have in fact hosed dog poop off of my child. My son was about six months old when he woke up early from a nap and I was on deadline. So I sat him on the floor with a few toys while I typed away at the table next to him, only to turn around and discover that the dog had pooped on the floor and my child was playing in it. I still cringe at the thought.

I've been working from home since my son was two months old. For the most part I can get everything done during naps, and if need be, after he goes to bed at night. But there have certainly been more than a handful of days when I've had to rely on tried and true electronic babysitters to get the job done. I use to feel guilty about it, but I'm pretty much done with the whole mom guilt thing.

I try to get up and get dressed in real clothes every morning, and most days I'm dressed like a real human being for more hours than most people. But some days, for instance when there's an early morning milk run in order or my child's bouncing off the walls before breakfast is over and we just need to get out and burn off some energy, I end up walking down the street or through a store in my PJs. My high heel and make-up-loving self has had to accept this. It is what it is.

Art projects can keep my son busy for hours. Early on I made efforts to throughouly cover and protect all non-paper surfaces, but somehow paint would still end up where I didn't want it. With the exception of making him wear a smock, these days I let him make a mess and just do my best to clean it up. Yes, that means my dining room furtniture often has paint drips and marker stains on it. But I've decided that while my kids are little, I'm okay with that. We can have nice stuff when they're older.

This may make me a less than stellar mama, but I have on occasion left the house sans tissues or wipes and had to use my shirt or another clothing item to wipe a snotty nose. Gross, I know. But, it happens.

Sometimes it's mom who needs a time out. Spending 24/7 with small children can be incredibly overwhelming. Anyone who denies that will get a serious side eye from me. But kids will be kids, and as the grown up it's moms job to maintain control. However, we're still human. When it all gets to be too much, I have to separate myself. That means leaving my son somewhere safe and taking a few minutes to be alone and compose myself. It's all about survival.

For the most part, I eat pretty well. But, being a mom has highlighted all the little treats I allow myself that I don't necessarily want my kiddo eating. That means sometimes I find myself sneaking cookies behind the pantry door or scarfing down the last of the ice cream before I retrieve my child from his nap. My diet is balanced, I don't feel bad about eating these things, I just don't want him to have the junk food unless it's a special treat, so I hide it.