Somehow, deciding whether to have a second baby seems harder than deciding to do it the first time around. For the past two years, my husband and I have been waffling back and forth over the subject. We never planned on having two, but now that our son is smack in the middle of toddlerhood, we're thinking having two might have its benefits. Here's why:
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__Give your first a playmate. __Some folks may say this isn't the best reason, but being a work-at-home mom, I'm starting to see the benefit. My son asks me to play with him about 3 million times a day, but between working, meeting his daily needs, and keeping my home liveable, I can only concede maybe two or three times out of the millions. If he had a sibling, he'd have someone to play with. Of course, there will be fights and a myriad of other issues, but for the most part, siblings do well together. I'm one of five, so I can say that.
__Get more value. __You know all that expensive baby gear you have from your first? When it comes time to get rid of it, you're either going to trash it or get a measly fraction of the cost back by selling it. If you have a second baby, you'll get another few years out of most of it, so you won't have to feel so bad about all those hefty "investments" you made.
A tool for life lessons. Siblings provide built-in opportunities for socializiation and learning life lessons. The first person most kids learn to truly share with, work alongside and cohabitate with are their siblings. You may look back on all those fights over the remote with disdain, but I'm betting you're probably a better person today because of them.
Prove you've learned something. Parenting is one of those skills that requires lots of practice to get the hang of–the more experience you have, the easier it is. You've probably spent months, if not years, learning how to do relatively basic things like changing diapers and putting an infant to sleep, as well as figuring out the complexities of disciplining and answer hard questsions. It would be kind of a shame to let that all go down the drain after one. Just think how much more confident you'll be the second time around!
Create a support system. Every one needs a support system, pretty much from the time they enter school until the day they leave this earth. Sure, there are friends, but friendships can take a long time to build and can be tenuous. Your siblings are there from the start. I for one know that even though I haven't always gotten along with my brothers, I've always been there for them, and them for me. We protect and defend each other like no one else could. And don't forget, without siblings, one person is left to deal with the multitude of issues that come up as parents grow old. With a sibling, the burden is shared.
Because you CAN handle it. How many times have I told myself that I simply "can't handle" another child? So many I can't even count. But you know what? I can. And my husband can. Because we've done this before, because we've learned how to parent, because we've learned not to sweat the small stuff, because we know how rewarding it is, because we know how full our hearts are. Oh and because if you're like me and have already waited longer than the standard two year gap, you'll have a pretty good little helper by your side.
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