People say stupid things to parents all the time but there are certain things that you should just never say to a Latina mom. People will come up to you in public who don't know you at all and offer you friendly (or not so friendly advice) about parenthood. This happens to all parents but some of the ignorant things people say to Latina moms, well, let's just say a chancla to the face may be in their near future.
These are some of the dumbest things you should never say to Latina moms.
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I don't know how they do things in your country but here, we speak to our children in English and without all the shouting. Well, my country is the UNITED STATES and the last time I checked, I wasn't the only one yelling. Oh and about my speaking to my children in Spanish, I also speak to them in English, French and Italian. It's called being cultured. Read a book, girlfriend.
Oh, no! You're not going to spank that child with your sandal, are you? Have you ever heard of a time out? Yep, I've timed out and tapped out. My pediatrician said five minutes per year of life because that 123 Magic 1 minute bullshit doesn't work. Guess what? I've never spanked my child but sometimes, just the sight of my chancla in my hand is enough to scare them straight.
Oh my, are you really going to let her eat THAT? It wasn't even washed and she bought it from that strange man with the refrigeration system on his bike! Yes, all of her food at home is organic and free-range, I don't think a paleta at the park from the guy on the refrigerated bike is going to kill her. Haven't you ever bought your kid a bullet pop from the ice cream man? Yeah, same idea.
Your kids don't look Latina? They're so white. OMG, people must ask you if you're the Nanny all.the.time! They look like their father. Surprise! We come in every color under the rainbow. I gave birth to them, I am NOT the nanny.
They are so beautiful. Were they anchor babies? Come on, you can tell me. I won't tell anyone. Girlfriend, for this one you deserve more than the chancla.
We knew you'd be late for the play date because you are on Mexican time so we told you it was an hour earlier so you'd be here on time! [insert giggles] Alright, so we Latinas (at least us Mexicans … OK, I can only speak for we, CRUZES) tend to be a little late sometimes but hey, only nerds are the first ones at the party and I like to make an entrance. P.S. Only we Latinos can make the Latino time jokes.
Where are you from? I am from Chicago. Thanks for asking. Oh, did you mean where are my ancestors from? Mexico! Ever been? I hear they sell lovely chanclas.
Do your kids speak Mexican? No, considering there is no such language. Do your children speak American?
I bet your kids love Spanish food! Well, my kids have never had Spanish food but they do love Mexican cuisine as they've been eating it since they've had teeth.
Wow! You must be Catholic with all those kids. There is only one answer for this statement, "Girl, hold my earrings and my chanclas because it's about to go down in here!" You know, I am from a family of six kids, and if I hear the joke about Mexicans getting out of a van looking like a clown car once more in my life, it will be too soon. Can you say rude? Many of us do have big families for various reasons: 1) We are passionate people who like sex. We're all so damn sexy, why not? 2) A lot of us are Catholic. 3) We love kids and we make pretty ones. 4) We come from big families and we like to have big families. I have 50 first cousins on my dad's side and it is awesome.
Image via Epsos.de/Flickr
