Many years before having a child or even being sure that I would ever have a child, I was pretty sure that I would never be a stay at home mom. Part of it was because I was raised by a single mom and she had no choice but to work, so I imagined that if I ever had kids, I would work outside of the home too. Then, I had my first kid and working outside of the home full-time wasn't an option because, quite frankly, we could not afford the cost of childcare. It simply wasn't worth it, so I stayed home and I found that I like it a lot. Now, even though I like it that doesn't mean it doesn't have some ugly parts.
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Here are the 7 worst things about being a stay at home mom:
1. Doors are useless. You may as well get rid of the doors inside your home because they are for privacy and you will be getting none of that. Get used to pooping with an audience because that's how the toilet rolls now.
2. Everything is a huge ordeal. You need to go to the corner store because you ran out of something. Good luck with that, it's going to take you like two hours just to get out of the house because you've got to get your kid ready, put them in a stroller, strap them in, make sure they are warm enough, then right before you are about to leave, they are going to have a massive poop that comes out the back of their diaper and now you've got to give them a bath and start all over.
3. You never get to eat a real meal. You will eat scraps of whatever you can find because when your kids are young, they aren't really into you taking sit down meal breaks, that doesn't work for them.
4. You will forget to get dressed. You wake up with every intention of getting out of your pajamas, but one diaper leads to another and before you know it it's bedtime and why bother changing into a fresh pair of pajamas at the point?
5. You live for naps. You look forward to your child's naps because for a few precious moments, you can think. Like really think about anything you like.
6. Delivery people are your best friends. You order things online because it is easier than going to the store, but it doesn't hurt that when the package gets delivered you get to talk to another adult for a whole 30 seconds. You try not to act too excited.
7. Your baby daddy doesn't get it. If you have a partner who works outside the home, you eagerly await their return so that you can hand the child off for the first time ALL day, then when he gets home he has the nerve to say, "Hold up a minute, I just got home from work. Let me relax for a second." You will want to rip his tongue out of his mouth and make him swallow it because you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that going to work outside of the home is infinitely more relaxing than staying home with your child all day.
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