A court in the U.K. has ruled that a mother of two boys, 11 and 14 years old, should lose custody due to her permissive parenting style. She was apparently just a little too free-range for the judge's liking. She let her sons play video games for hours on end while she napped or used her iPad. She is more like a "friend" than a parent and the court found that she has "significantly failed" her sons. Apparently, this is punishable by law.
__Read more ¿Qué más?: If you don't have children, don't tell me how to raise mine!
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There will always be debates about which parenting technique is the best. There are so many to chose from: attachment parenting, free-range parenting, helicopter moms, tiger moms, oh my! Some people breastfeed, some moms don't. Some parents co-sleep, some let their kids cry it out. Some spank, some don't. The bottom line is we all love our children and try to do the best we can. But what do you do when the government or courts get involved in the very personal choice of how to parent our children?
Judge Laura Harris decided that since Mom was allowing the boys to play video games while she napped and not enforcing bedtimes which caused the boys to often be late to school and not complete homework assignments, mom was not doing her job effectively. So the judge gave custody of the boys to their father who she believes to be more structured, disciplined and capable of setting boundaries. This is what the judge said:
I consider the mother's parenting has been permissive, and, although the court must be tolerant of different standards of parenting, I consider the permissive parenting in this case has caused the children harm.
The scariest part of this whole situation is that this was her parenting choice. She didn't beat the children or starve them. She may have neglected them but instead of just living with the mom guilt or having to take parenting classes, she has had her children taken away from her custody due to a bad parenting technique choice. She has lost everything because she chose unwisely and we live in a world where the court can tell you how to care for your children.
It was a judgment call, not a moral one. She was overly permissive with videogames and bedtimes, it's not like she was allowing the kids to smoke crack and have sex in her house. She wan't beating them or starving them. Should she have been more present and did a little more actual parenting? Yes. Do I think she's a lazy parent? Yes. Does she deserve to have her children taken away? Hell no. This is crazy.
So next time you consider leaving the kids in front of Barney while you get the laundry done or let them stay up past their bedtime, be forewarned, Big Brother is watching and you just might end up in court fighting for custody from an ex-husband who cheated on you and then left when the youngest was just born.
Image via Me & the Sysop/Flickr
