After being a stay-at-home mom for several years, I had to go back to work when my youngest son was 10 months old. Since I couldn't fathom the idea of leaving him in a daycare center so young, we decided to hire a nanny. Someone recommended a male college student who wanted to become a teacher, but I didn't even consider him as an option because, in all honesty, male nannies, babysitters, instructors and coaches gave me the creeps.
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I know that makes me sound totally sexist, but I'm just being honest. Maybe all my years as a journalist covering horrific stories of sexual abuse by male figures–be it family members, coaches or priests–left me totally jaded, but truth is, I just didn't feel comfortable with the idea.
We ended up hiring a lady who came highly recommended and was godsend. My kids adored her and so did I. But while I knew I could always control who I would hire as a nanny, I also knew the time would come when I wouldn't be able to avoid them having a male instructor or coach unless I wanted to make a big deal about this issue.
And for the longest time, I kind of did. When I wanted to change my daughter's swim lesson from a weekday to a weekend and I found out the only option available was with a male instructor, I stuck to her regular schedule even though it was no longer convenient for us. I knew it was wrong, but deep down inside it just made me weary.
Something similar happened when her gymnastics instructor left and I found out her replacement was a male instructor.
As my daughter has gotten older, though, I've started changing my ways. Maybe it's because I've finally accepted that gender doesn't really play a role when it comes to child abuse. In other words, both males and females are guilty of it.
When my daughter moved on to one of the highest swimming levels and I realized she'd have to be with a male instructor if I wanted her to stay in the program, I decided to let go of my unfounded fears. I had heard wonderful things about this particular instructor from other parents and I decided to give him a chance. I must say I'm glad I did because my girl has thrived in his class.
I've also been hiring my friend's younger teen brother as an occasional babysitter and my kids swear he's the best they've ever had. I just hope he never proves me right.
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