For two years now, we've been going out for dinner once during the week as a family because we found that we engage in greater and deeper conversations when we are out than when we're at home distracted by our gadgets, TV and things we need to get done. During this week's dinner I asked my son one of the questions that was included in some internet poll I participated in "who had the most impact on your childhood?"
My son is 16, he looked at me and without even pausing he responded: "That's easy! María!"
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I almost choked on my food and wine! My husband totally avoided even looking in my direction. At first I felt hurt and wanted to burst out crying. But I pulled upon my American side (rational) and adapted my reaction (histérica), and I simply said, "That's wonderful sweetie, why?" He responded, "While you were working and travelling, she was there every day pushing me to do my homework and encouraging me when it got tough. She also helped me build the study habits that I have today. These habits have really helped me this year." He's had a very academically challenging year.
María was mi nana, my kids' primary caretaker for 12 years. When I was working and travelling extensively for work, I'd tell them: "She is your mom, the one calling the shots, not me!" I would always remind my kids of this. She was always nurturing and indulgent yet strict without being authoritarian. She taught them to be respectful of others, to mind their manners, to follow her rules around homework and their quality of work, she also made sure they had balanced and nutritious meals. She had a strict routine that my kids, and even my dog, would need to stick to! Our family loves María and we have such respect for her. Although she no longer works for us, she continues to visit regularly. I also believe that my kids filled her life with joy and love.
Like many of our mamas Latinas, María left her son and family in Perú and came to the U.S. to give them a better life. When she'd get sick from loneliness, my kids were there to comfort her. As a working mom there have been many sacrifices I've made as it relates to time spent with my kids. But I feel fortunate that my kids had a María in their lives who inspired them to be better people, to work hard and to have faith and optimism even when life has dealt some difficult blows. Gracias to my María and so many Marías who raise our kids with love and dedication.
Image vía Lucía Ballas-Traynor
