Today I took my "baby" for her first visit to the gynecologist. She recently turned 17 and asked me to take her because "most of my friends have already gone." Prior to her appointment, I prepared her for what to expect and although I went with her I didn't go into the examination room. Mi hija couldn't believe that we were talking about the exam in such detail. Neither could I!
My familia and I never talked about sex when I was growing up. In fact, the one time that I asked my mom about oral sex I was traumatized by her answer. Up until the week before I got married, my dad never even mentioned the word sex or "relaciones." The only advice that he ever gave me was the day before my wedding when he suggested not using condoms as contraception because it was a real "mata pasiones" for the man. Needless to say his views were pretty typical of a macho Latino.
When I was growing up, señoritas didn't go to the gyno until you were married. So when I turned 20 and started having extremely painful periods my abuela refused to take me in to see one. I endured 4 months of periods that were so painful I thought I was the protagonista of the novelas I watched with my familia! I had to wait until I returned to Chile so that mi madre could take me to the doctor. It turns out that I had a tumor that had taken over one of my ovaries and had to be removed!
Read more ¿Qué más? You have to talk to your daughter about her body, even if your mother didn't talk to you
I adored my abuelos and I never questioned their authority, tradición nor our valores even if it meant I might never be able to conceive. Abuela and I never spoke about the subject until this week when I called her for her birthday. I sent her a picture of my baby heading to her first gyno appointment and she said (in Spanish) "How times have changed. When you were living with me señoritas didn't go to the gynecologist until they were married."
She's right, times really have changed…
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