Though I don't actually have a specific timeframe in mind for when I'll wean my almost-six-month-old from breastfeeding, I often think about how our lives will change when I do. I've actually struggled quite a bit with low supply–particularly since returning to work full-time–so the possibility of having to wean has often been a glaring reality, one that has made me teary on more than one occasion. There are a lot of things I look forward to–pretty bras, losing those last few pounds, no longer needing to pump–but, there are also a lot of things I know I'll miss.
1. I am irrationally terrified that the bond between my son and I will weaken when he stops nursing. Since the beginning of my pregnancy I've felt that my child and I have braved a mini war together. No one has been as much a part of this incredible, challenging, amazing chapter in my life than he has. I'm afraid that once that physical closeness comes to an end so will our emotional closeness.
2. As the months have gone on, Abel has become more and more affectionate: he hugs and he even tries to give sloppy, wet baby kisses. As of late, he also loves to touch my face or hold my hand while he nurses. It is so sweet to feel him reach up to me like that and I will miss cradling him as he presses his hand into my cheek. I can only hope, he takes after his Puerto Rican side and continues to show his affection outwardly!
3. I will miss how small he is. I imagine that by the time I finish breastfeeding, my son will be sitting, standing and maybe even walking. Those tiny little hands and feet will be big and strong enough that he'll be able to pull himself up and support his own weight. He will be mobile and likely more interested in exploring his surroundings than in cuddling with mama.
4. I will miss having a readily available supply of food with me wherever we go. When we leave the house we don't have to prepare bottles, pack them up or find a place to warm them. I just find a comfy spot and cover up with a nursing cover, receiving blanket or even a cardigan and the whole process is complete in less than 20 minutes.
5. The health benefits. I've discovered that when my little guy has a stuffy nose, nursing helps temporarily clear it up. Since there are no safe cold medicines for infants, it's great to have this tool in an arsenal that is pretty much limited to saline drops, snot suckers and humidifiers. Nursing not only comforts him, it also helps to relieve congestion, making it a great multi-purpose solution. When the day comes that I have one less weapon to fight the boogies, I'm betting colds will be a whole lot tougher on me and him.
6. My positive experience with breastfeeding. I've heard a lot of stories about women who get disapproving looks or even verbal abuse from strangers while they're nursing in public. But my experience has been the complete opposite. Almost every time I nurse in a public place — which is actually quite often — I get admiring smiles from the strangers I was once so afraid of being judged by. And as a human being, it always feels great to have someone acknowledge that you are doing a good job. I will miss that acknowledgement.
7. The milky smiles. I will miss those silly milky smiles he throws around mid-meal. Those smiles are so rewarding–each one is like a little thank you. It's like he's saying: "Mom, your milk is so tasty and it feels so good in my belly. Thank you." I love those smiles and I will miss them more than almost anything else.
Image via jeff.snodgrass/flickr
