Since the birth of my son, I have had my share of sleep-deprived nights–and days for that matter–and we all know that things have a tendency to get a little wacky when you're on little to no sleep and still expected to function like a perfectly sane human being.
Most of our flubs happened in the first few weeks of our son's life, but since he's decided to stop sleeping through the night, my out of sorts behavior is beginning to resurface. Here are the four craziest things I've done while sleep deprived, and one doozy from husband.
1. Rocking air. I have to start here because of the sheer number of times I've caught myself in the act. My son does not fall asleep well without motion–he hasn't since the day we brought him home from the hospital–so my husband and I have spent countless hours swaying, rocking, and patting him to sleep. It's gotten easier over the months, but I still occasionally find myself swaying back and forth with empty arms–something I did almost daily in the early weeks. I've even caught myself patting my own arm as if it were his little tush.
2. Soapy baby. A nightly bath or shower is part of our bedtime routine and it usually goes off without a hitch. Abel loves the water and it mellows him out even during a deliriously sleepy tantrum. But things get a little hairy when I'm just as sleepy as my little one. And by hairy, I mean soapy hair. That's right, I've rinsed my baby off, wrapped him up in his favorite towel and carried him to his room to put on his jammies only to realize that I forgot to wash the shampoo out of his hair!
3. Forgetting where I left him. Okay so I don't completely forget where I left him, but I have a tendency to wake up in the middle of the night searching for him under the sheets. When he wakes up, I usually bring him to my room and nurse him or rock him back to sleep and then bring him back to his crib. I'm usually so sleepy when this happens that I conk back out almost as soon as my head hits the pillow only to wake up in such a daze that it legitimately takes me long enough to look for him to remember that he's safely asleep in his room. I actually just did this one last night!
4. Smooth moves. A few months ago I was making a smoothie–which I often do to ensure that I'm getting enough calories to sustain me while nursing–and when it was ready, I went to pour it into a glass when instead I made the mistake of pouring it into the bright pink plastic tumbler that I ONLY use for water. Of course, said cup was full of water already, resulting in a mess of epic proportions. Making more work for my sleepy self was definitely not in the plans, but there I was scooping blended berries and yogurt off my kitchen table, chairs and floor.
5. Sleep-walking daddy. My husband was lucky enough to be able to take a week off from work when I went into labor, but unfortunately we were both still adjusting to the sleepless nights when he went back to work. He works the night shift, but there was no time for sleep when he got home during the first month of Abel's life. He would take the baby for a while so I could nap or he would try to get some stuff done around the house. He also does a ton of overtime, so when he finally had a night off, he was beyond exhausted. During one of our middle-of-the-night wakings, he disappeared into the kitchen and didn't come back for 20 minutes. I later found out that he was sleep walking–he had gone into the kitchen, opened a container of chocolate pretzel, poured some milk into it, closed it back up, then sat down at the table until he woke up and realized what he had done. To this day he still can't explain why he poured milk in that container.
