We live in a world full of blended families. I know more people who grew up with stepparents than those who didn't and with divorce rates as high as they've ever been, I know this trend will continue in generations to come. Unfortunately, for many stepmoms Mother's Day can be a tough day. While many of them devote themselves to their stepchildren, come Mother's Day, they're not really recognized by them, their husbands or anybody else, for that matter. This can be particularly difficult for stepmoms who don't have children of their own.
On the other hand, I can only imagine how tough it must be for a stepchild, especially the younger ones, to figure out what to do on Mother's Day. Does celebrating your stepmom on Mother's Day mean your being disloyal to your own mother? Argh! One more reason why I don't like Mother's Day!
I became a full-time stepmom at 26, a few months after I moved in with my now husband and his son came to live with us because let's just say his mom had some issues. Although he'd been coming to stay with us every other weekend and his father always told me the possibility of him moving in with us was very real, I never imagined it would happen so quickly. But it did and I was thrown into being a "mother" to this child even though I knew nothing about mothering nor was I even thinking about having children of my own just yet. In fact, about seven years went by before that actually happened.
While I remember feeling kind of weird during Mother's Day, I'm not going to say it was particularly difficult. I mean I always knew I wasn't my stepson's mom, although I pretty much did everything a mom's supposed to do except give birth to him. I never ever tried to act as if I was a replacement for my stepson's mom. I always knew my place, but I'll always be grateful to my husband for making sure I got some kind of recognition on Mother's Day.
So please, if you have a stepmom or if your children have a stepmom who's good to them, please don't ignore them this Sunday. A simple card with a thank you will suffice.
Do you celebrate your stepmom on Mother's Day? Do you encourage your children to do so? Let us know in the comment section.
Image via popofatticus/flickr
