When I was a child, I didn't really know many children who had been adopted–except for four cousins of mine. One of my aunts couldn't have children and so she adopted four kids from Chile. Yet, nobody ever spoke about it even though it was pretty obvious since the four of them looked nothing like each other nor do they looked like either one of their parents. I don't know, I guess it was taboo.
Although I don't know for a fact, given the circumstances I just described, I seriously doubt that any of those adoptions were 'open.' In other words, I don't think there was any ongoing contact between my cousins and their birthparents. While that use to be the norm in the United States, a new report shows there's been an increase in 'open' adoptions.
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According to the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, which based its findings on a survey of 100 adoption agencies, only 5 percent of infant adoptions are of the kind where there's no relationship between the birth parent and the adoptive family. On the other hand, 55 percent of the roughly 14,000 to 18,000 adoptions that take place yearly are completely open. This means that both parties agree to continued contact between them. The 40 percent remaining are considered "mediated" adoptions where periodic exchanges of pictures and letters are facilitated by the adoption agency, but there's no direct contact between the parties.
The Donaldson institute also revealed that most participants rate open adoptions as a positive experience. Adoptive families report being more satisfied with the process, while birthmothers say they experience less guilt and worry. Meanwhile, the adopted children have access to both their family and medical histories, which is hugely important.
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But open adoptions are not without its issues. Many of these stem from the amount of contact each party expects post-adoption, according to experts. While I can totally see the benefits of open adoptions, I can only imagine how much harder it must be for the birth mother to be in constant contact with the baby that she consciously decided to give up for adoption. If she's privy to all of her child's milestones, for example, I can't imagine her not wishing she was the one going through all of those with him? That's probably why the "mediated" option would've been the one I'd chosen if I had ever decided to adopt. I guess there's something about the direct contact that makes me real uneasy.
Do you think the rise in open adoptions is a good thing?
Image via Thomas Hawk/flickr
