One of the best life lessons I have ever received was, hilariously, from the movie Moulin Rouge. There was a quote that they repeated over and over that I took to heart. "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return," which was often spoken by John Leguizamo. While love is absolutely the best thing on the planet and marriage quickly follows, keeping a happy marriage isn't exactly easy. Things can get boring and stale sometimes, which is why having a healthy love life is key. But how do you spice things up without taking things too far?
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When it comes to tricks to reconnect with your partner, one of the best tricks I know is dirty talk. However, dirty talk is not an easy thing to accomplish and it's certainly not easy to bring up with a partner when you've never done it together before. Even if you were a pro before, every relationship is different and this might be the one where you aren't yet comfortable with taking things to that level (yet).
This is where we come in. Thanks to Glamour, dirty talk just got easier. But the really big thing about dirty talk is that you probably want to try it but you do not want to come off like a porn star. For one, it would be embarrassing. For second, it wouldn't be alluring. It might even make the two of you laugh, but it certainly wouldn't set a fire between the sheets. Luckily, though, there are some steps you can take to make dirty talk something to look forward to. It can be very appealing when done the right way, when you learn how to start and what to say, and even the voice trick that might make your hubby go bananas for you. To find out more, here are 10 ways for talking dirty without actually feeling dirty. Trust us, you'll love it with these tips.
1. Figure out exactly WHY you want to talk dirty.
The first thing to note is that you want to start talking dirty because YOU want to and not because you feel pressured by society, pop culture or your partner. Make sure that you are actually comfortable with going down this road before actually exploring dirty talk.
2. Feel out your partner first with a dirty text.
You might be shy about bringing up dirty talk with your partner, so a good way to try it first is through texting. It's easy because you can gauge his reaction without actually looking him in the eyes and saying something dirty, which can feel awkward or silly at first if you're not used to it.
3. Make sure your hubby knows what pleases you.
Before you venture into dirty talk, you'll want to make sure that your partner knows what pleases and doesn't please you in bed. And vice versa. The reason this is important is that you want to avoid either of you saying something that, well, turns you (or him) off.
4. Start with basics like, "You feel good inside me."
The easiest place to start when you want to dip your toes into talking dirty is a simple "you feel good inside me" or "that feels really good." It's pretty neutral language and, honestly, who doesn't love being told that something they are doing feels GREAT? Your hubby will surely appreciate it.
5. Definitely set the mood and RELAX.
Once you're ready to graduate to slightly dirtier talk, it's okay to be shy. One way to combat this is to start by setting the mood. Have a romantic evening, light some candles, maybe even take a bath together. Do whatever you need to do in order to relax and be able to say some of the dirtier things on your mind. Yes, we mean out loud!
6. Take it to the next level by expanding on what you're enjoying.
After you've covered the "this feels good" type stuff, start by going into what feels good and getting specific. Tell him how much you love it when he bites your nipples a little bit, reveal that it's fun when he turns you over into THAT position, or any other little details that you've been dying to share.
7. Don't just say what you think he wants to hear.
One of the biggest mistakes you can make when doing dirty talk with your sweetie is by saying only what you think he wants to hear. This will get really boring, really fast. And trust us, he will likely be able to tell if you're saying things that he wants to hear but not really meaning them.
8. Practice in front of the mirror to get the hang of things.
If you're still feeling shy or not sure what you want to say (and what you don't want to say), it's totally okay to practice. After all, practice makes perfect, doesn't it? Take some time to practice in front of the mirror while your hubby isn't around to figure out what feels natural to you.
9. Try lowering your voice to create a sexier effect.
Another trick to doing dirty talk just right is to lower your voice a little bit. This is something else that you might want to practice in front of the mirror first, but it'll be well worth it when your man hears your sexy growl. It's not at all a bad idea to try to spice things up in this way too, right?
10. Ask him questions, too, in order to create an actual dialogue.
One of the good things about dirty talk is that it doesn't have to be and definitely shouldn't be a one-sided conversation. During your time in bed, make sure you're also asking your partner questions about how he feels, about what he's enjoying and about what he wants to do next.
