A lot of people argue that many mothers don't get enough credit for all that they do for their children. I agree. But I'd also argue that too many moms take way too much credit for the stupid things their adult children do, and they really need to stop.
Take Jay Williams and his mother, for instance. Jay is an Atlanta-based music producer by day, and a professional baby producer by night. In his life so far, he's "fathered" 34 biological children with 17 different women. Realizing that children are not souvenirs that you collect from various relationships, Jay has turned to life coach Iyanla Vanzant for help.
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On a recent episode of "Iyanla: Fix My Life," Iyanla sits down with Jay and his mother, Stacey, to discuss the root of his problem: his mother. "I am a firm believer in the statement made by Ralph Waldo Emerson that a man is who his mother makes him to be," Iyanla says. I'm sorry but, what? A man would say that, but a woman? C'mon! Surely, Jay's mother isn't going to agree with this, right?
Oh, but she does! "The fact that you have all of these children is because I didn't love you enough," she says to Jay as he tries desperately to hold back tears. "I just don't believe that," he responds. Um, I think I'm inclined to agree with the mujeriego on this one. I just don't believe that either.
It's not like she's making him have sex with all of these women. And it's not like he's looking to fill a void by messing around with countless ladies. In a previous interview, he told Iyanla he would have had 200 children by now, had he not used condoms, which leads me to believe he's having a ton of casual sex. Men who do that aren't looking for love. They're looking for, well, sex and an maybe an ego boost. More to that point, most men learn this behavior from other men, not their mommies.
I'm a firm believer in the idea that it takes a village to raise a child. I do not believe that any one parent could ever be totally responsible for their child's entire outlook on life. There are far too many people influencing that child for one person to take all of the credit. There are teachers and friends and neighbors and pop stars and classmates who will inevitably make an impression on a child's life and ultimately influence their values and ethics. But at the end of the day, we're all responsible for our own actions, especially as adults.
Image via Iyanla: Fix My Life
