Summer is a time of abundance, when nature shows us just how bountiful it can be. The sun graces us with its warmth, power, and free doses of vitamin D, which our body can’t make on its own, but needs in order to keep our bones and cells healthy. Since summer is a magical time, it lends itself to being a wonderful time of the year to create rituals to be happier. And by rituals we mean a series of symbolic acts that help you focus on your intentions and put you in a positive mindset. Or as psychologists define a ritual, "a predefined sequence of symbolic actions often characterized by formality and repetition that lacks direct instrumental purpose."
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Rituals have been performed by humans probably for as long as humans have been around, but why? Well, some rituals like religious ones, are a way for us to express our values and pass them on to others. Think baptisms, communions, and so on. Rituals are also a way we mark certain life stages and journeys. Think graduations and funerals. But we practice much smaller rituals throughout or lives because they help give us a sense of order, relieve anxiety, and let our brains let go of whatever is not serving us at the moment. The best part is that we can create our own rituals that are meant to make us happier. Here are a few to inspire you, but remember that when it comes to creating a ritual that works for you, you are the expert.
Use your bath or shower time as a cleansing ritual.
Some of us like to bathe in the morning and some of us prefer to do it at night. Regardless of when you like to bathe, use that time as a physical and metaphorical cleansing time. As you wash the dirt off your body, imagine your worries washing away as well. You can also use scents like lavender as part of the ritual to help relax you so that when you are done, you feel cleaner and lighter inside and out.
Make your bed as soon as you get up.
Not just because your mami made you do it when you were a kid, but also because it’s a great way to take a moment and set intentions for a peaceful, happy day for yourself. It’s also a kindness that you do for yourself so at the end of the day when you are ready to go to bed, your bed is all ready to peacefully embrace you instead of looking like some kind of fabric tornado.
Start a meditation practice.
Many people resist meditation because they think it means they are supposed to sit there and think of nothing. But thinking of nothing is not the goal of meditation. Instead, find a quiet place where you can sit and focus on your breath and as thoughts go through your mind, acknowledge them, and then let them go by refocusing on the sensation of breathing in and out. If you need help, there are great apps like Calm that will help you with guided meditations.
Focus on your breath throughout the day.
Whenever you feel yourself getting stressed, angry, or overwhelmed, notice and then focus on the timing of your breath. Are you breathing fast? Are you holding your breath? Consciously, take a moment to regulate your breath. You can do so by breathing in to a count of four and breathing out to a count of six a few times. Why? Because research has shown that breathing exercises like this can help regulate your nervous system and focus your attention.
Take mindful minute break.
OK, this is a ritual that I love because who doesn’t have a minute to spare? We all do! Almost anything can wait a minute. To take mindful minutes throughout your day without having to look at a clock or use a timer, you do have to do some work ahead of time. It’s easy, though.
When you are at home and have a minute, grab your phone and set the timer on it for one minute, but don’t start it yet. Then sit somewhere that’s comfortable and get in touch with your breath. Breathe normally. Once you feel like you aren’t rushing your breath or elongating it, start the timer and count your breaths. One inhale and exhale count as one whole breath. When the timer goes off, take note of how many breaths you took. Let’s say you took 12 full breaths. Now you know that 12 breaths are equal to a minute for you. In the future whenever you are feeling overwhelmed or stressed, just focus on your breath for 12 full breaths and you’ve taken a mindful minute.
Go for a mindful walk.
What’s the difference between a mindful walk and a regular walk? A regular walk usually involves getting from one place to another without really focusing on the journey because you’re just trying to get to where you are going. A mindful walk involves being present during your walk by focusing on your breath, then noticing how your feet touch the ground as you move forward, letting your attention travel up your body to see how the rest of your body moves, then looking at and listening to your surroundings. It’s a great way to stop your mind from racing.
Give yourself a daily rest from technology.
How often do we reach for our phones when we don’t even need to? Technology is useful when we use it for what we need, but not when we are mindlessly using it to escape. Sure, you might feel like you need to stay connected because you have kids or in case there is an emergency, but you can definitely give technology a rest for 30 minutes to an hour a day. You can even set an alert to remind you that it's time to walk away and be free.
Take a technology vacation.
If you are going camping or on vacation somewhere, consider giving technology a rest for the whole weekend. Liberate yourself from the need to constantly check messages, answer emails, or surf social media. You deserve to relax and own all of your time. It is refreshing and you’ll see that everything will be waiting for your when you are ready.
Turn off the notifications on your phone.
If you don’t really feel comfortable taking a technology break, at least turn off all unnecessary alerts on your phone. You don’t need to be interrupted by dings, beeps, and chirps every time a stranger likes the photo you posted on Instagram. And you certainly don’t need to be notified every time you get an email that your spam filter didn’t catch. You check on those things when you have time to because you get to choose what you pay attention to and when.
Take yourself on weekly dates.
The idea is to date and get to know yourself and what brings you joy. These dates don’t have to be long, they can be an hour long if that’s all the time you can manage. But they are for you and you alone. You can go buy yourself a coffee and journal. You can take yourself to a bookstore. You can go for a walk. You can see a movie all by yourself. You can do whatever your heart desires and that is the entire point. If you schedule your weekly dates for the same time every week, you’ll notice yourself getting excited throughout the week to be able to spend that time with yourself.
Marry yourself.
It’s called sologomay or self-marriage when you marry yourself. And, yes, you can be legally married to someone else and still marry yourself. The idea is that you are committing to a loving relationship with yourself. Some people have full-on ceremonies and invite others as they publicly vow to be kind, loving, understanding, and forgiving to themselves, but you can have a private ceremony if that’s more your style. Write vows saying how you commit to yourself and maybe keep them somewhere where you can see them. And don’t be afraid to renew your vows from time to time.
Gather with friends outdoors.
Summer is the perfect time to make a ritual out of hanging outdoors with those you love. Set up some picnic or barbecue gatherings with friends and family. If you have a few families that are interested in gathering once a month, you can take turns hosting. It’s good for the soul to commune and share food with people you love.
Take your outside shoes off when you are inside.
OK, hear me out on this one. I know a lot of people don’t like to take their shoes off when they get home, but not only does this practice, or dare I say ritual, keep you from tracking outdoor germs indoors, it’s also a symbolic way of treating your home like a haven. Come in, take your shoes off, and rid yourself of any toxicity that exists outside your home. If you don’t like to be barefoot, there’s a simple solution. All you have to do is wear chanclas or slippers. Just make sure that footwear is only used inside your home.
Give yourself 'coffee' breaks.
My family laughs at me because I will periodically announce, “I’m on a coffee break, I’ll let you know when I’m back.” I then proceed to enjoy my break and if they try to talk to me during that time, I remind them that I’m on a coffee break and will be done shortly. My “coffee” breaks don’t always involve coffee and yours don’t have to either. I take them because sometimes the noise of life and being a mom gets a little overwhelming and I need a well-deserved break, so I’m going to take it. Everyone around me is better for it, too.
Turn saying 'no' into a happiness ritual.
There’s a lot to do during the summer and you will get invited to any number of events or you’ll be asked to help others out. Before you respond to any invite or request, take a few moments to consider and breathe—you can even practice a mindful minute.
Notice how your body feels and if you feel excited about the proposition, by all means say “Yes!” But, if you are having less than a joyful reaction, go ahead and say “No.” You do not need to explain your no. You can just say no. And, this is important, do not feel guilty about saying no because you are saying no in order to say yes to yourself and doing something that actually makes you feel joyful.
