Finally, scientific proof that crying it out and ferberizing your child is just plain cruel! According to a recent twin study, genes play the biggest role in getting toddlers to sleep through the night, but environmental factors are more important for daytime naps. So, letting your infant cry it out is not actually sleep training her. She is born genetically predisposed to certain sleeping patterns. All the crying it out and passing out from exhaustion is just that. She's not learned that if you don't answer her cries she should just go to sleep. She has learned that you don't answer her cries and she is alone.
Read more ¿Qué más?: Truth be told: I'd break the law to save my child
I was never able to do the cry it out method. I never wanted to. I'm just not built to stand by and do nothing while my baby cries. I have an instinct to pick her up and soother her back to sleep. They are only little for so long. Maybe that is wrong but it worked for us. Sure, I know that sleep training, in theory, is smart because it teaches your child to self soothe and go back to sleep on their own. It's building good sleep habits. But who knows what's right when every expert has a different opinion?
But according to this latest study, there was a window of greater influence from surroundings and family habits at 18 months, which accounted for 48 percent of variability at that time. Environmental factors also accounted for up to almost 80 percent of variation in how long toddlers napped during the day by age 2.
Environmental factors influence daytime sleep. That makes sense. A child going to sleep in the middle of day is counterintuitive even if he or she is tired. The sun is shining and they try to fight it. I invested in room darkening shades and developed a routine of calming and relaxing with my child sitting in my lap while I read to her. I know that is not plausible for every one or even wanted but it worked for us.
I am not saying all sleep training is bullshit. I think for some people it works. We are all different and all have different parenting styles, but this study shows that letting your child cry it out before 18 months is not effective. It's just cruel.
We went the complete opposite route: we co-slept. My girls just turned 6 years old and 8 years old. They've both slept in their own beds for a couple of years now. In fact, the 8-year-old never sleeps with us anymore unless she is ill. Then, like everyone else in the world, she wants her mother plus it's just easier to take temperatures if I can roll over in bed and do it rather than traipsing into the room she shares with her sister and waking them both up. Both girls go to bed in their room, and for the most part stay there–so there is no truth that co-sleepers of attachment parents never sleep in their own bed, ever. They do.
Finally, proof of what I've always said: Crying it out doesn't work and it is just cold-blooded. Babies need love and affection, not to cry it out and now, study shows that sleep habits are genetic. Crying it out doesn't really sleep train. It's just letting the baby work itself into an abandoned tizzy.
Image via Flickr/ Meagan
