It's totally a judgmental parents paradise here in NYC. I swear, there should be an Olympic sport developed around mothers comparing parenting skills. Moms love to do this and always seem to find time for it, no matter how hectic their schedules are.
They glance at other moms if they see them struggling with their kids at the supermarket and they give them a dirty look that clearly says: "Woman… you have zero control of this situation."
I see them staring with their x-ray eyes at the contents of school lunchboxes on the days Moms volunteer looking down on the processed cheese and juice boxes?
How do I know all of this? Because I am the constant recipient of these looks.
I was talking to a friend about this and she told me, "Well, we all judge other Moms sometimes."
Sorry, but I don't. How could I? I'm certainly no expert at the Mom job. I'm constantly struggling to be better, so forgive me if I don't have time to judge others. I'm too busy dealing with my life–oh, and also harshly judging myself.
I never shake my head at the Mom who loses it when her kid throws a tantrum at the park. I don't know her story and I don't know what she goes through everyday. While there are some horribly mean mothers out there, others are simply trying to do their best. We are allowed to make mistakes, or lose our patience–it's all part of the process.
We even get judged by our close Mom friends. They know our life circumstances and we all expect support when we are sharing a problem or concern, but it seems to be hard to get it in this town–judgment just comes easier. If you have fruit loops in your pantry expect a friend to tell you that there's no way her daughter is allowed to have all that processed sugar.
It makes me want to scream.
The big elephant in the middle of the room is this: Every Mom in the world is insecure about her own parenting decisions. From what foods to eat to how much TV is Ok__–__we all agonize over these details not only for our sake and our kids benefit but also because sadly we look for that validation from our fellow moms.
We all want to be good parents but the judging doesn't help. It's normal human behavior to make judgments, I get this. But before sharing an opinion think about whether or not you are actually concerned and trying to help. Or does it just help to judge others to avoid thinking about your own choices?
Do you judge other moms? Do you ever feel like others are judging you?
Images via Flickr/studiostoer
