Mothers are not allowed to say that they don't like any part of motherhood without apologizing for it profusely. As if acknowledging that motherhood isn't all butterflies, daisies and baby poop is a ginormous sin against the cult of mamis and disrespectful to any woman who has ever wanted to be a mother, but for whatever reasons can't be one. I've never felt that way. I've never felt that I have to love every single thing about being a mother, I've never felt that it is wrong to admit the truth of what parenting is like for me and I have never felt that telling the truth about my experience in any way diminishes the immeasurable love I have for my children. I love my kids, but I don't love everything about being a mom and I'm not gonna lie about it.
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Here, my dears, are eight things I will never love about being a mother:
1. The expense. It's not cheap being a parent, I'll tell you that. Kids need food, they need shelter, they need clothing, they need medical care and someone has got to pay for it. Oh, and let's not even get into the extras. Have you seen what it costs to go to an amusement park lately? It's not amusing.
2. The guilt. Oh my goodness, I was already the kind of person that felt guilty all the time and then I had kids and it's like guilt reached mythic proportions because now everything that I do can have an effect on my kids.
3. The lack of sleep. I was told that eventually my kids would sleep well and so would I. To everyone who told me that I would like to say, "LIAR!" I don't think I've had a really good night of rest since before I got pregnant and at this point I'm not sure I ever will.
4. The pressure. I try not to let things get to me and do the best that I can, but then I hear other parents talking about how their kid is doing this or their kid is doing that and I start thinking that my kids should be doing this and that too.
5. Being the responsible one. I've always been responsible even when I was a child, but now I HAVE to be the responsible one. I have to make sure everyone is okay and taken care of even if I'm not doing so well myself.
6. A part of my brain is gone. My children occupy a part of my brain constantly. It doesn't matter where I am or what I'm doing, there is always a part of my brain that is thinking about my kids and their welfare. It's not that it's a bad thing, it's just that I remember what it was like to be totally self-absorbed and I will never have that again. Ever. It's okay, but I can't say that I don't notice.
7. That worry that I will screw my kids up. My mother screwed me up you guys. Sorry, mami, you are wonderful you really are, but you are human and you handed down a potent legacy of issues. Issues I don't want my girls to have.
8. Knowing that I can't have them forever. My children are still very young. They live with me, they need me and not only that, they really, really like me. One day, they won't live with me and they won't need me in the same way. All I can do is try to be the kind of person that they will always love and respect.
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