The last few minutes leading up to the kids' bedtime seem to happen in slow motion. The kids do nothing to speed up the process, in fact, they do everything they can to prolong it because they don't believe in sleep, they don't believe in giving their parents a break. But eventually, we prevail, we get those tiny butts in their beds and we warn them that they are not under any circumstances (unless they have to pee or poo) get out of bed until morning comes and then… it's time to party like only parents can!!!
Bed time for the kids means "ME" or "WE" time for the parents and this is pretty much how it goes down every night…
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1. We talk smack about the kids. Yes, we love them but good GAWD did you hear that whining? And could the excuses for not wanting to go to bed be any more ridiculous?
2. We bust out all the contraband food. All forbidden snacks are greedily gobbled up by the adults in the house.
3. All kid-friendly entertainment comes to a screeching halt. We only want to watch stuff with adult themes and hopefully a ton of curse words. Nudity does not hurt either.
4. We talk about sex and how much we're going to have of it, but we know we'll fall asleep before we get around to it.
5. We pretend like we'd be out doing cool stuff if we didn't have kids, but we're totally stoked that we get to binge watch TV instead.
6. About an hour into it, we think we can hear them, but nope it was just our imagination.
7. We start missing them and really want to go check on them just to make sure they are okay.
8. We peek in their rooms quietly and then can't resist giving them a kiss.
9. We try to watch more TV or have sex, but we barely have the energy to brush our teeth and get ready for bed.
10. We go to bed and can't wait to see the kids the next morning.
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