Alexis Fretz is a 30-year-old mom from Pennsylvania and she sadly had to deliver her miscarried son at 19 weeks. She and her family got to hold him and bond with him before he passed away–a photographer by trade, Alexis decided to take pictures to commemorate his extremely short life. Since she had been traveling when she miscarried, she wrote a blog post about what her family was going through so that the members of her small community would be able to understand what happened without her having to retell the painful story over and over again. She had no idea that her blog, along with the photos of her precious son would go viral.
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One of the fears–if not THE biggest fear–of expectant mothers is miscarriage. We love our babies from the moment we learn of conception and miscarrying is often the cause of much heartache and grief. But for most women, it is a fear that dissipates almost entirely after the first trimester, since about 80 percent of miscarriages occur before then. But for the remaining 20 percent, miscarrying is not only more complicated physically, but emotionally as well, especially considering that babies miscarried in the second trimester may actually have to be delivered and when they are, they look and feel just like the tiny humans that they are, rather than the bundle of cells that many people imagine them to be. Because second-trimester miscarriage is something that is not discussed often, the reality of what it means for a mother and a family is something that most people never think about. The Fretz family has changed that for thousands, if not millions, around the world.
The Fretz's teeny, tiny little handful of a baby, with his perfectly formed body, has given voice to all of the women who struggle to suppress the grief of losing a baby. He has made it real, that babies this young in the womb are just as human as those who make it to full term. In fact, if he had just a few more weeks in the womb, he might have had a fighting chance at living a full life. This is what a fetus looks like at 19 weeks–not a strange sea creature, not a computer-generated semblance of a human baby, but a real person.
I can't imagine having the courage and strength to share such a personal struggle with the whole Internet, like Alexis and her husband and two daugthers have, but I'm amazed that they were able to use little Walter's brief existence on this earth for so much good. They've shown people that late miscarriages do happen and that it's okay to grieve the baby's life.
Images via Thinkstock, Alexis Fretz
