Do you elf on the shelf? People are really up in arms about the elf on the shelf. Either you love them or you hate them. There are no other options. With the elf on the shelf comes all the wonder and splendor of holiday magic, without them comes sleep and peace.
Yet, we still have elves (on the shelf and everywhere else in our house). They are running rampant and my girls are giddy with excitement. My husband and I, on the other hand, are losing our ever-loving minds trying to come up with new and exciting things for the elves to be and do. Oh yes, we don't have one but FIVE elves: Rick Astly, Rick (i) James, Herbie Hancock, AnaLee and Ed.
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To be clear, we have five elves because we kept moving and misplacing our elf the elves couldn't find us, so we'd buy a replacement Santa would have to send a new elf to our new home. Last year, we took Christmas out of storage and to our surprise we'd acquired a small army of elves. R&B loving elves who are peppermint-aholics and have a penchant for mischievous behavior. Some are kind and simple and others are thug; Santa's henchmen.
The problem with elves on the shelf is that they require constant assistance in relocation and they have no concept of communication so we have to come up with new and ingenious places to pose them on our own. Every.Single.Night! It is exhausting. It's a full-time job. They are so needy.
Did you know that elf on the shelf is now responsible for one in five divorces? No, I am just kidding, but they certainly could be. We have elf responsibilities in our home. I assist with daytime relocation and the Big Guy does bedtime relo. The daytime relo ends with elves making snow angels in powdered sugar, taking bubble baths in marshmallows, watching Christmas movies on the iPad or taking baby Jesus hostage. My husband forgets it's his turn and throws elves under the tree or on top of the bookshelves. That is, when he remembers.
Do you know what happens when elves don't move? Kids start to wonder if those elves really are just stuffed animals or maybe they just got poor quality reject elves. Then they begin to question why Santa hates them and you know the "Is Santa real?" question is not far off. I'm not ready for that conversation. The Big Guy and I have been having a lot of 1 a.m., half-asleep bickering sessions about whether or not anyone remembered to move Herbie Hancock. I've woken on more than one occasion in full panic mode afraid that I've ruined Christmas for the kids. These elves might bring with them wonder and magic for the children but they are slowly sucking the life out of Christmas for the adults.
Image via The TRUTH about Motherhood
