There is a child in my daughter's class who is…well, I am not going to name-call a child, but let's just say that he is a handful. This is an impression that I formed all on my own in about two minutes the first time I noticed him (he makes himself noticeable) and has since been reinforced.
Let me be clear, there is nothing WRONG with the child. He is as adorable as any 5-year-old, obviously smart, well-groomed, and precocious. The reason I'm telling you about him is that he makes my daughter uncomfortable. She talks about him ALL the time and it is always tinged with nerves and what seems like fear. Again, let me be clear, he is NOT bullying her. He is just unabashedly and unapologetically himself and learning to navigate boundaries.
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When my daughter brings up issues she's had with him, like he took one of her papers and it really upset her, we discuss them and I encourage her to speak up for herself. Other days when she brings him up, I ask her whether he is doing anything specifically to her and whether I need to speak to the teacher and she usually says, "No, he didn't do anything to me today. I'm just worried he will."
Anyway, the class had their first field trip and my daughter had a break-down the night before because she was so worried she would get paired up with this handful of a boy. My husband told me I needed to speak to the teacher and even though I knew he was right, I felt totally uncomfortable bringing it up to the teacher because as I said, he's NOT bullying her, but she is uncomfortable around him.
On the day of the field trip, I put my big girl panties on and I walked up to the teacher and told her exactly what I'm telling you, that my daughter is uncomfortable around the child and she's stressed out and worried about it. The teacher was very receptive and I'm glad I did it. I really don't want to brand that child as trouble before he even has a chance to get acclimated to school and that's why I was reluctant.
My children teach me lessons all the time and the lesson my daughter taught me this time around is that if I want her to be able to speak up for herself, right now, at this point in her life, I have to be her advocate. She's only 5 and doesn't know how to navigate difficult social situations yet. I didn't make a big deal about it, but I did speak up for her and I hope that's what she learns from this situation, that it is okay to speak up for yourself even when you are NOT being bullied.
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