Little girl’s pole dancing is everything that’s wrong with the world

Sometimes I feel like I am so naive. I mean it's not like I live under a rock or anything, but I still find myself getting the poop shocked out of me on a fairly regular basis. Take for example what seems to be a trend on the rise: little girls taking pole dancing classes. What?! I mean, I know that pole dancing has been a fitness craze among women getting fit and tapping into their inner sexual goddess at the same time, but I certainly don't want to see my 5-year-old daughter working a pole and I would NOT take her to a mommy and me pole dancing class or a solo class. So who is taking their kids to these classes?

Read more ¿Qué más?: Incredible pole-dancing Latina abuela is totally kick-ass

The U.K.'s Daily Mail wrote about pole dancing studios offering classes for little girls popping up all over Britain. Some of the classes are for mixed ages and some are just for the kids. Huffington Post reports that pole dancing classes for kids are being offered in Canada because parents are demanding them.

Parents who take their daughters say it's just another way for kids to stay fit. Okay, come on! There are tons of other ways to keep kids fit that don't have their history tied to strip clubs. I don't care how liberated, open-minded, and progressive I am, I'm also fiercely protective of my daughters and you can call a rose by any other name, but pole dancing is still pole dancing. It's not aerobics, it's not weight training, it's not gymnastics. Yes, it does provide the health benefits of all those things, but it is still POLE DANCING.

I have no problem with grown ass women taking pole dancing classes, but I do not have any desire to see my daughters learn how to be coquettish while on a pole. Also, let's be honest, you know these pole dancing classes for "kids" are really pole dancing classes for "girls." I doubt too many parents are going to be signing their boys up for pole dancing classes, which is a whole other conversation I'm not going to get into right now.

In case you are wondering, the picture above is of my daughter in "stripper shoes" that were given to her by my mother. I was mortified when she opened them without my knowledge and I was thrilled when she told me she didn't like them. It's a good thing they weren't offering pole dancing classes for kids when I was a little girl because obviously my mother would have signed me up in a heartbeat.

Image via Unknown Mami