__Do you bribe your kids? Would you rather reward your kids for good behavior or punish them for bad behavior? Recently, I've heard a lot of parents get up in arms about parents bribing their children. You have one camp that says they bribe their children to get them to bend to their will and there is another camp that says they refuse to pay a child to do what they should already be doing anyways. I'm here to say, I have no problem bribing my children if I need to.
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I'm not saying that I pay them to behave. They behave because they know what behavior we expect of them. If they don't behave, they know that there is a price for bad behavior and that price is the loss of privileges. They like their privileges so they try to keep them. We teach them that if they choose to misbehave, then they have also chosen to relinquish privileges. It is all their choice. We are teaching them to be responsible for their actions.
Do they still fight and misbehave? Hell yeah. They are 6 and 8 and some days they are tired and cranky and privileges don't seem like such a big deal to lose and they push the envelope. Some days they want to be obnoxious and they just do not care about the punishment and those are the days that they spend the next week regretting. I think for children, being tired and cranky is like an adult being drunk, they make bad decisions that feel right at the time, are only half aware of what they are doing but will still be held completely responsible afterwards.
Why is bribery such a bad thing? In the real world, we are rewarded with success for hard work and determination. Isn't bribery just positive reinforcement? We're teaching our children to know that good deeds and good behavior earn privileges and that hard work and determination is rewarded with success. I have no problem rewarding my children for going the extra mile and furthering their education during the summer or facing their fears or trying new things. I want my girls to know that life is rewarding if you establish good habits, practice good behavior and push yourself to be and do better.
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