Becoming a mom is probably one of the most exciting, scary and grueling things any woman will ever face, we're exhausted, hormonal and confused, but most of us still have the urge to show off our new little bundles of joy. If you have a friend or family member who just had a baby and is encouraging you to come visit, make sure you take her up on the offer–it can be a very lonely time and helpful visitors are a great way to divert some of the stress and struggles. In order to be that calming presence rather than a major annoyance, here are five things you should never do when visiting a new mom:
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Don't show up unannounced. Whether you are visiting the hospital or the home, make sure you speak to at least one of the new parents to arrange a time for your visit before embarking on it. The early days of parenthood are full of unseemly moments and the last thing you want to do is show up before mamá has had a chance to change out of her breastmilk soaked nightgown and pat down her unwashed hair.
Don't give advice without being asked. Above all things, do not go in thinking you are the authority on all things baby and assuming that the new mom needs your opinion on every facet of her newborn's well-being. Everyone has a different parenting philosophy and nothing can do more harm to a mom's confidence than even a well-meaning outsider's insinuation that she is doing things incorrectly. By all means, offer your take on topics you are asked about, but don't try to tell anyone how to parent their child.
Don't overstep boundaries. Yes, you should offer to help with cooking and cleaning, but only do what is specifically asked of you. Feel free to offer to handle such things as laundry, dishes, and grocery shopping, but never just start wandering around someone's house looking for things to do. Even new parents need privacy and no matter how close you are, your bestie may not want you touching her dirty undies.
Don't wear out your welcome. From my experience a visit between one to two hours is enough. Unless you are asked to stay longer, you should say your goodbyes within that time frame. It's very likely that by that point everyone will be ready for a nap or at least some quiet alone time.
Don't make more work for mom. Straighten up anything you may have moved around and wash every dish you use. In fact, make sure the sink is empty before you leave. If you brought a gift, dispose of the wrapping. Just make sure the house is at least in the same condition it was in before your arrival.
Image via Wayan Vota/Flickr
