Tired new mom Ava Neyer has 5-month-old twins. One is a night owl and the other is an early bird. Neyer has read all the same crap sleep advice books that the rest of us sleep-deprived mothers have read, only to find contradicting advice from "experts" telling you to do exactly what another "expert" told you not to do. It's enough to make a tired mom want to go to each author's house and throw their book at them … but who has time to do that? Instead Neyer wrote a hilarious rant that has gone viral because so many mothers have experienced the same frustration
Neyer's full rant was posted on a friend's Tumblr and really just goes to show that she should publish a book about how all the other books on sleep training are bullshit. I'd actually buy that book and give it to expectant moms. That book wouldn't make them feel like a failure, like all the other books do and wouldn't confuse the shit out of them.
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One of my favorite lines from Neyer's rant is: "Using the 'Cry It Out' method (CIO) will make them think they've been abandoned and will be eaten by a lion shortly." Ha! In my world, letting them cry it out makes me want to be eaten by a lion because listening to their wails is far worse than being mangled by wildlife.
The hardest part of parenting for me has always been getting my kids to sleep through the night. I'm a miserable failure at it and all the proof you need are the bags beneath my kids' and my eyes. They don't sleep enough, which means I don't sleep enough. And you know what?! Everyone from book-writing experts to well-meaning friends are miserable liars because they told me it would all get better "soon" and that if I created a routine with my kids, they would be sleeping like babies in no time. What they failed to tell me is that babies are horrible sleepers! That's right, I said it, BABIES SUCK AT SLEEPING. The reason you should never wake a sleeping baby is that you might never be able to get them to go back to sleep.
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