This Christmas I'm not expecting much in the way of gifts. After all, it's our first time celebrating the holiday as parents–and we are much more focused on introducing our son to the joys of Christmas than on filling our own stockings. Honestly, I'm sure I'll be thrilled with whatever I'm gifted, but there are actually quite a few "presents" I'd rather not be the recipient of.
For some moms, a not-so-great gift might be a new coffemaker or vacuum–and honestly I wouldn't particularly mind either of those. But the gifts I'm thinking of are actually even more likely to appear on Christmas day. Here are a few things I hope I don't get:
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1. A way too early wake-up call. Wake up at the crack of dawn on Christmas morning after a late Nochebuena–we all did it as kids–so I guess we are only getting our due. But wouldn't it be nice to spend your day off sleeping in just this once. Fat chance. I can't even get my husband to sleep late when presents are waiting under the tree.
2. Spit up on my party dress. Oh the dread. My little guy is a spitter, a happy spitter, but a spitter none the less. For the most part I'm used to it, but I definitely don't want to spend Christmas dinner reeking of sour milk and trying to dig curds out of my sequins.
3. A wired kiddo. Moms of older kids are probably all too familiar with this one. Between all the holiday sweets and the leftover adrenaline from opening all those presents, your kid might just be on a high, leaving you chasing him around grandma's house and begging for another cup of coquito.
4. A blowout in the car. Anyone who's ever experienced a car seat blowout won't need this one explained. If you haven't yet hit that mommy milestone, bless you. No mom wants to have to pull over on their way to a festive party to have to scrape poop off of the car seat upholstery and change her baby into the spare outfit stashed in the diaper bag–yeah, the one he grew out of two months ago.
5. A zoned-out husband. Too much pernil (and rum) might have your hubby zoned out–or passed out–in front of the tube on Christmas day leaving you to handle the aforementioned spit up and hyperactive kid all on your own. I say don't stand for it. He deserves in on some of the holiday fun too!
