It used to be that having children out-of-wedlock was a no-no because they'd be considered bastards__, a term that has always been used in a derogatory manner. But now that according to a study by the Centers for Diseases Control, one in four children are born to unmarried couples, it seems like this is no longer the case. Heck, my children could've been part of that percentage if I'd gotten away with what I really wanted to do instead of doing what I was supposed to do.
I've never really believed in marriage–maybe because I've seen my sister get married three times or because my parents divorced after 33 years–nor did I ever care to spend thousands of dollars in a wedding. I would've been perfectly fine just living with my now husband without the marriage certificate, but life had other plans for me.
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You see, a few months after my then boyfriend and I moved in together, his son from his first marriage ended up coming to live with us too pretty much full-time. The reasons why are complicated, but suffice it to say that his mom had some issues and for everybody's safety and well-being, he was better off with us.
While I thought this would be a temporary arrangement, my stepson ended up staying with us until he was 18 years old. So about a year and a half after we all started living under the same roof, my man thought it'd be a good idea for us to set a good example for his son and go ahead and get married since we had already decided we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. About five years after we got married, we decided to start having our own children.
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I don't regret getting married, but I honestly don't think it makes a difference one way or the other for unmarried couples to have children. I'm sure my very Latina mom would've been mortified if we hadn't done it by the time we had kids, but had it not being for my stepson, I don't think we would've gotten married.
What do you think about unmarried couples having children?
Image via JAG Photography
