Latinos are full of contradictions. On the one hand many of our men are machista and on the other they are also big mama's boys. But how can they possibly be both? I think it's because las madres play a completely different role than other women in the lives of Latino men.
As the mother of a little boy, I've often wonder about the things I'll have to do and say to make sure that my son grows up to be neither one of those: ni machista ni hijito de mamá. I'm pretty sure I have the machista part covered since I'm not married to one and I didn't grow up with one. Yet, I'm not so sure about the mama's boy part.
I mean, I definitely don't want him to be that, but I feel like a lot of the Latino men around me are exactly that. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying my husband is a mama's boy, but he definitely acts like a different man when his mom's around. (She lives in Puerto Rico). It's like, all of a sudden, he becomes super dependent and wants nothing more than to be taken care of. She, of course, happily obliges cooking all his favorite Puerto Rican dishes–which I can't cook!–and pretty much serving him and doting on him.
I have absolutely no problem with this as I actually find their relationship quite loving, but I don't really see myself doing the same for my son as he gets older — only because that's just not who I am.
What I do want is to make sure that my son doesn't grow up thinking that crying is for girls or that speaking up about his emotions is a bad thing. He's an incredibly loving boy who loves to tell me "Ti amo" out of nowhere and he dishes out kisses to whomever is willing to receive them. I need to figure out the way to raise a strong, confident boy who is also sensitive and in touch with his emotions without being made fun of by his peers. I also want to make sure we have a close relationship, but one that feels natural to both of us.
And if that means I'll be raising a mama's boy, then so be it!
What do you think of the concept behind mama's boys? What kind of relatioship do you have with your sons?
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