I love my kids more than anything in the world, but sometimes I hate them too.__
And I don’t care if other mothers find my saying this outrageous – I am sure that they hate their kids too at times – but they don’t feel comfortable sharing such feeling.
Problem with me is that I use to hate them in silence – until today – when they decided to wake me up on a Saturday at 5:00 am in the morning.
I tried everything – and I mean everything – to put them back to bed, but it simply became a nightmare and ultimately a total failure.
I had been preoccupied all week and the night before I took a Tylenol PM hoping to get at least 7 good hours of sleep.
But no such luck, and when I got abruptly awakened by them, I was completely out of it and I got mad as hell.
Crazy mad.
And I said,
– “Los odio.”
Yes I did.
It just felt like an undeserving punishment.
Every Saturday and Sunday when my kids wake up a las malditas 5 AM in the morning I have to ask God,
– What is this s***? I don’t deserve such grief, I really don’t, I try my best, I live and die for my two kids, I work really hard and multi-task like a champion, is it too much to ask to get a good night sleep?
Juliana told me during breakfast that I had said something very bad,
– "You said you hated us".
I responded,
– "I didn’t say I hated you –how on earth would I say that? I love you… you are the loves of my life… I said 'Lo odio' –as in 'I hate the situation.'"
She said,
– "Oh…" (and kept eating).
Uff .
That was close.
"I do hate them a little but they don’t have to know it."
Not yet.
Maybe when they turn 18.
Imagen vía Happy Batatinha/Flickr
