I came across the piece "Why I Regret Being a Stay at Home Mom" by Lisa Endlich Heffernan and even before I read it, I knew it would inspire a response from me. Just glancing at the words that were highlighted in bold, like "My world narrowed", I knew that I would write about how different my experience has been and how much my life has widened because I stayed-at-home with my kids.
Then I actually read the piece instead of just glancing at it and thinking I knew what it was about and it turns out that I actually agree with much of it even though staying at home with my kids actually made my life wider and led to a career I never even dreamt of.
Read more ¿Qué más?: Tell the truth: Are you happy being a stay-at-home mom?
What I took away from Heffernan's piece wasn't that she regretted the time spent with her children, but that she regrets all that she let go. Her advice is simple, I think. It amounts to don't let go of all of your dreams for yourself career-wise.
Okay, enough about her. What about me? I became a stay at home mom because I couldn't afford to pay someone else to take care of my kids while I went to work. I stayed home with my first child and I felt totally isolated.
Two days a week I would still work because we needed the money. When my husband had his weekend, he stayed home with the kids while I worked. I had contact with other adults and I got a "break", it also gave my husband a complete understanding of what it's like to be on your own as a caregiver all day.
Still, my part-time job wasn't something I felt passionate about, so one day out of desperation and loneliness I opened my computer and started a blog. I had no idea what I was doing technically, all I knew was that I was reaching out to someone, anyone. Then someone reached back! Someone that I didn't know left a comment on a post that I wrote and I felt connected.
I kept writing and I kept connecting. My blog grew into a business and I discovered that I was a writer. My eldest started going to preschool and I was still at home with my youngest, writing, and working part time when hubby was off. An opportunity came up to put my youngest in daycare at the same place where my eldest goes and although I had misgivings about sending her at such a young age, I figured I would try it out. She loves it. Right around that same time, I heard of a job opening to be a full-time staff writer at MamásLatinas, a website I've known about since its inception. I applied and I GOT THE JOB!!!
I now work fulltime from home. Obviously I am no longer a stay at home mom technically because my kids are in school during the day and maybe I was never technically only a stay at home mom because I always had to work at least some of the time out of neccessity.
Here is my advice to all mothers, stay at home or not: being a mother is an awesome responsibility that should not be taken lightly and being yourself is also an awesome responsibility that should not be taken lightly. There always has to be a part of you that is growing or being challenged and not only as a mother. Never ever let go of all of your dreams or ambitions and accept the new dreams that come along unexpectedly.
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