My husband and I grew up in Roman Catholicfamilies who never missed Sunday mass. We continued this tradition when the kids were young and agreed that they should receive every Sacrament that's required by the Catholic Church. Also, they attended religious education until they received Confirmation. We did all of this because we strongly believe in the basic principles of the Catholic Church and feel that its teachings provide our kids with a solid moral foundation.
But with time, our family has become part of the growing number of "Cafeteria Catholics" who have left the Church but choose to retain certain aspects of the Catholic faith.
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There are many reasons why I believe so many Catholics have left the Church or don't' attend regularly. Personally, there have been 3 key reasons:
1. Mass is way too dogmatic and even the homily (depending on the priest) fails to bring the principles and teachings back to my and my family's reality and lifestyle. I remember going back after 9/11 searching for answers. The priest hardly addressed what was happening! I just failed to find relevance and spiritual comfort. And, as more of the widespread abuses by priests became public, we just stopped going back altogether.
2. Over the years, our church had a variety of priests who would lead the masses and only one really inspired me and gave me what I expected from mass. I think this second reason is closely tied to the first. He passed and since then, the few times I have gone to church, the priests, perhaps because they've never been allowed to marry and deal with the issues my husband and I face every day, failed to engage us
3. Perhaps if the Church and Vatican had more women in leadership roles, our voices and issues would be heard and these would be reflected in the teachings of the Catholic Church. Also, I am sure that women leaders would have advocated for those kids who have suffered at the hands of priests who lacked humility and abused their power.
Perhaps Pope Francis is the beginning of a new era for the Catholic Church. His humility and advocacy for single women and the hope and inspiration that he's already providing means that my kids will go back to church once again. For now, we find comfort and answers in every day prayer and reflection. And, always thanking Dios for the good as well as the bad–because the bad times make me appreciate happy moments even more.
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