I have big boobs or breasteses or tatas or whatever you want to call them. They've always been big. In fifth grade, a boy who sat across from me announced to the entire class that my boobs were bigger than the teacher's. He was right.
No, I'm not going to act all woe is me, I've enjoyed my breasts! I've had some fun with them and I've certainly gotten attention because of them, but let me just tell you and other ladies with big naturals can back me up, boobies are not all fun and games. Oh no, they are not for the faint of heart.
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To begin with, they make finding clothing that fits difficult. They are distracting to others. They like to painfully bounce around when you are trying to exercise or even just walk briskly to the bathroom. Sometimes you think maybe you should wear goggles so you don't accidentally poke your own eyes out when it's cold and you are rushing somewhere.
Like I said, my breasts have pretty much always been big, but now they are GINORMOUS! After getting pregnant and nursing, these suckas are HUGE. I don't even know what size bra I wear, I gave up. I just buy sports bras and wrestle the ladies into them. So now the problem I'm always dealing with is that my breasts have turned into hoarders. It's true, they like to collect stuff and it's not pretty. I've found popcorn in them, a dead ant, and all sorts of other inappropriate items.
So what's a big breasted girl with hoarding boobies to do? All I can do is laugh and make fun of myself. See what I have to deal with?
Image viaThinkstock
